Redemption
by Beautiful Secrets
Summary: Alex grew up with Buffy and the gang, had fallen for Spike and even dated him for a while...but at Buffy's graduation, she vanished. No words of goodbye, nothing. She was gone. Years later, when she returns to her friends, and her old home of Sunnydale, w
1. Chapter I

_Chapter 1_

Dawn crossed the room, and shook her head, her arms over her chest.

"Buffy?" she called. Her sister appeared at the bottom of the steps.

"What?"

"How long has it been since we've cleaned out this attic?" Buffy shrugged, and climbed up the ladder.

"A long time. Don't know how long, though…why?"

"It is _so_ dusty and _so_ dirty up here…hey! There's a window!" Buffy laughed, and pulled a rag from her pocket, wiping the dust off the glass.

"You're right, there is…"

They began to move boxes around, coughing as the dust was kicked up into their faces. Dawn fanned her hands in front of her face, knocking the dust away, and looked down. A box was at her feet, with "Buffy's memories box" written on it. Looking around, she kneeled and wiped off the rest of the dust. It read "Buffy's memories box." She turned to Buffy.

"Sis? What's this?" Buffy glanced over at the very small box, and smiled.

"Wow…I thought I lost that…C'mon, why don't we take a break, so I can look thru these." Dawn lifted the box, and headed downstairs with Buffy. Shaking the dust from her hair, she set the box on the table, and headed into the kitchen. Buffy dropped onto the couch, and pried open the warped cardboard of the box. The first thing she saw was crumpled newspaper, and she lifted it out, carefully pulling it off of the picture frame it held. She sorted thru the contents of the small box, and smiled, laughing slightly to herself. Dawn walked back out with two glasses of tea, and sat down.

"What's all this?"

"Old pictures of Xander, and me, and Willow, and even you when you were a baby…here, look." She held out a black-framed photo of a little baby. Dawn laughed, and shook her head.

"Please tell me your hiding that photo." Buffy went on without acknowledging.

"And there's some letters from when Willow and I would go to the same summer camp, and we'd be strange kids and write to each other…and letters I got from Xander…and an old letter from Dad. Then my very first A+ paper…"

"What's that?" Dawn asked, tilting the box to see some more newspaper inside. Buffy looked down, and knitted her eyebrows together.

"Must've missed that…" She pulled it out, setting down her cup of tea, and unwrapped the picture. Her eyes widened. "Oh my god…"

"What?" Dawn asked. Buffy set the picture down, and stood, walking to the window, one hand on her hip, the other on the back of her neck. Dawn set down her glass and lifted the picture. "Buffy? Who's this?" She held a picture of a girl: she wore tight, light blue jeans with a tear in the right knee; a sleeveless, neon green shirt with the words "Superstar" on the front; red, rhinestone-decorated sandals; a dark pink baseball cap with the word "Fighter" on it, covering up her long, dark brown hair; and a pair of sunglasses in her left hand. She was laughing, and squinting her green eyes. Buffy sighed, and turned around.

"That's Alex…she's an old friend of mine…"

"I don't remember you ever talking about her," Dawn stated.

"That's because I never did. At least not at home…" Buffy sighed again, and rubbed her eyes. "Alexandria Hardt…That was her name. She was a very tough girl. She always said she picked it up on her own, from growing up in such an abusive home. Her father was a violent drunk, and her mother never cared, and she didn't have any brothers or sisters. Alex was one of the few people who knew how to fight when I became a slayer. In fact, she taught me everything she knew, and introduced me to someone who knew even more about the demon world. If it weren't for Alex, I'd probably be a few years behind schedule, you know?" Dawn nodded.

"What happened to her?" Buffy paused, thinking.

"Um…Well, right after I graduated high school, she left. And I mean, just disappeared. We really don't know where she went, but we didn't call the cops. Alex had been talking of leaving Sunnydale for the longest time…I just don't think any of us really thought that she'd do it. Willow was the first to notice. She came running up to Xander and me, and we had to follow her back to Alex's house. It was completely deserted…"

"How old was she?" Dawn interrupted.

"Three years older than me. You know who else didn't believe she was gone?"

"Who?" Buffy sighed, and smiled at the thought.

"Spike…" Dawn paused, looking at her sister.

"What?"

"Yeah…Alex was one of the sweetest, toughest people I have ever met, and apparently, that Spike had ever met. She stole his heart in an instant…" Dawn smiled.

"So Spike does have a heart."

"Yeah…He's always seemed a little reserved for Alex, though…" Dawn smiled again, at the thought of a girl like Alex with a guy like Spike.

"Did they ever go out?"

"Oh, yeah…they dated for a few months, actually…She disappeared during their relationship…"

"That must've been hard for Spike." Buffy nodded.

"You want something for lunch?" Buffy asked, changing the subject as she entered the kitchen. Dawn sighed.

"Sure…"

Buffy entered the cemetery, and wandered thru it, her hands buried in her pockets.

"Buffy?" She looked up, and turned around. Willow and Xander jogged up, smiling.

"Hey, guys," she half spoke, half muttered. Their smiles faded.

"You alright?" Willow asked. Buffy shrugged.

"Dawn found a box of my old stuff up in the attic yesterday…at the very bottom of the box was a picture of Alex…" Willow and Xander looked at each other.

"Alex? Wow…Haven't heard that name in a long time." Buffy nodded.

"Yeah, I know. And of course, Dawn wanted to know who she was, and, you know, I didn't mind telling her about Alex…but it got odd and uncomfortable when we brought up her and Spike." Xander let out a low whistle.

"Haven't heard those names together in a long time, either," he said.

"Yeah…I think Dawn felt bad about asking about the two of them…even though she shouldn't have…She didn't know, it wasn't her fault." Willow smiled.

"I wonder how Alex is doing now…" she said softly.

"I hope she's alright, wherever she is. Haven't heard of her or from her for such a long time, I'm slightly worried about her, but I know she's strong. She can take care of herself…" Buffy trailed off.

"I hope," Xander added, digging his hands into his pockets.

Spike sat on the cold concrete floor in the basement of the new Sunnydale High School, his head in his hands, staring blankly at the floor between his legs. He could hardly remember a time when his thoughts hadn't wandered to Alex at one moment or another. But now, at this very moment, he shoved all thoughts of her to the back of his mind, and concentrated on the silence around him, praying the prayer of all prayers that he could keep still and silent for a time, to try and fool the demon in his mind into leaving him alone. He closed his eyes, keeping the image on the insides of his eyelids nothing but a never-ending blackness, and struggling to keep his thoughts off Alex.

Willow lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking. She could hear the memories of Alex's laughter, and of the screams she let loose when she fought an enemy, a demon, anything that tried to harm another. The same memories flowed thru Xander's mind as he lay on his bed, and thru Buffy's as she lay on her bed. Memories of the friend who'd never been selfish, no matter what she could have gotten thru selfishness. Who never gave a second chance to a demon or any enemy that had already harmed another. At the same time, Willow, Buffy, and Xander sighed, and rolled onto their sides, closing their eyes, falling asleep.

* * *

Buffy hung up the phone, and turned to face her sister, who sat on the couch.

"Dawn?" she asked. Her sister lifted her eyes from the magazine in her hands.

"Yeah?" Buffy lifted her bag and her keys off the table.

"I'm gonna go out…I've gotta meet Willow and Xander at the diner uptown."

"Okay…" She looked back down as she turned the page.

"If you go out, call me, and be home no later than ten."

"Gotcha." Buffy pulled the door closed behind her, and jogged down to her car, climbing in and tossing her bag on the passenger seat as she started the car.

The three headed into the park after leaving the diner, Buffy leaving her car parked in the parking lot spaced nicely between the park and diner. Sighing, Buffy made sure her car was locked and the alarm was set, and ran her hands thru her hair, shaking her head.

"You feeling okay?" Xander asked.

"Didn't sleep well…" Buffy replied.

"Neither did I…"

"Same here…" Buffy jumped as something slammed into her back. Spinning around, she saw a soccer ball lying at her feet.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to hit you! I was trying to give it back to them!" a voice called. Buffy paused, and lifted her head. A girl stood about ten feet away, her hands crossed in front of her. Her dark brown hair was hanging around her shoulders, covering the shoulders of the light blue T-shirt she wore. Her shirt was tucked into a pair of partially tight, partially loose shorts, held up by a pink gel-filled-looking belt. On her feet were white and red tennis shoes, and her green eyes were wide with surprise.

"It's okay! Who were you trying to give this to?" she asked slowly. The girl pointed. Buffy tossed the ball to a few boys nearby, and turned back to the girl. "Come here…" she said, motioning. Hesitantly, the girl moved closer. Buffy's eyes widened, and she tapped Xander and Willow on the shoulders.

"What?" they asked.

"Look…" The girl suddenly stopped as the two turned, and her eyes widened more, though this time her lips curled into a smile.

"Buffy? Xander, Willow? Is that you guys?"

"Yes…" Buffy answered. She laughed, and ran over.

"Oh my God!" she cried. Buffy threw her arms around the girl, and they hugged. The girl also hugged Xander, but Willow stared at her blankly for a second. Her eyes suddenly widened as it hit her like the ball hit Buffy.

"Oh…God…Alex?"


	2. Chapter II

_Chapter 2_

Alex, Buffy, Xander, and Willow sat down in the diner, smiling.

"Alex, what are you doing here? I thought you moved away…" Willow asked. Alex chuckled.

"Well, I did, but a couple days ago, I found a picture of all of us in my closet, and realized just how much I really missed you guys…I had to do a search, though, to make sure you were all here, still…I didn't wanna drive all the way here and find out you'd all moved away…"

"Well…" Buffy looked at her friends. "Not to say we didn't think about moving away, but I don't think any of us could've left Sunnydale. This is our home. We all grew up here…And so much has happened here, we can't just pretend it never happened. Besides…I don't think any other place would understand us like Sunnydale," she finished. They nodded.

"So, Alex, where've you been for so long?" Xander asked.

"About…one hundred miles east, I suppose…there were some things here that I couldn't take anymore, so I left…"

"You really surprised us, you know. Even though you did talk a lot about leaving, we didn't really expect you to do it. We all missed you…" Alex smiled faintly, and closed her eyes as a waitress set down four glasses, hers filled with Wild Cherry Pepsi©.

"I missed you all, too…So much. But knowing what's happened here, and in that high school…"

"Oh, you haven't seen it yet, have you?"

"What?" Alex asked, looking back up.

"They rebuilt the high school, in the exact same place as the old one…it's still a nice place. Buffy's sister is going there now," Willow stated, nodding.

"Oh, really? That must be nice." Buffy nodded.

"Yeah, it is. I'm a counselor there, too…"

"That's cool, Buffy…" She nodded again. Alex sighed, looking out the window. Buffy, Xander, and Willow looked at each other.

"You know who else has missed you?" Alex shook her head.

"Don't say it, Xander, I know who else has missed me. And I feel like a horrible person for leaving him here…but I can't change the past, I can't change what's happened, what I've done…" Willow reached out, touching Alex's hand.

"We know, Alex. It's been hard on all of us. Especially what happened at graduation…it was hard on everyone." Alex sighed. Her hair fell off her shoulders, and in front of her face, and she looked down at the table.

"Hey…Would one of you mind housing me for a while? If you can't, I can get a hotel room, but they just seem so dirty…"

"I can," Buffy said, looking over at her. Alex smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure. You're my friend. That's what friends do." Alex smiled.

"Thanks, Buffy."

Alex lay on the couch in Buffy's living room, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Buffy had gone out, and her sister was hanging out with friends, so Alex was alone for a little while. Sighing, she dug her wallet out of her pocket, and flipped thru the pictures she had. Even though she knew she didn't have one of Spike, she still looked anyway. Shrugging, she tossed it onto the table, and headed into the kitchen for a drink. Glancing out the window, she saw the sun begin to set.

Buffy looked around as the door closed behind her. The basement was dark, save for the few lights in the corners that gave barely enough light to walk by. She passed a gate, and saw Spike on the floor, eyes half closed, watching the floor between his legs.

"Spike?" she asked. The light in this particular place was a bit better than in the rest of the basement, and she could see him slightly lift his head. "Spike, you awake?"

"Yes, Buffy…I suppose I am awake." She moved closer, dropping carefully onto a crate near him.

"Spike, you have to leave this basement. It's hurting you more than you seem to realize…"

"Buffy, don't. I've heard this lecture a bunch of times, it's never worked before."

"Maybe it will work now…" Buffy glanced at her watch. "The sun is going to set in a few minutes. You will be able to come outside. I _need_ you to come with me. Leave the basement, just for a little while. I have to show you something…Something important," she pleaded, crossing her hands over her knees. "Please, Spike. This is important…" He groaned, but stood up. She smiled faintly, and started out of the basement.

"Buffy, you best go first. Make sure the sun is set…" Buffy nodded, but dragged him to the doorway.

"Stay here. I'll call down when I see." She headed up the steps, and peeked out the window. "All's clear, Spike." He came up the steps behind her, and she headed down the hallway, to the front doors.

Alex sighed, rubbing her eyes, and looked at the sink. There were a few dirty dishes, so she flipped on the water, and started to wash them up, so she felt like she was earning her right to stay with Buffy. Clearing her throat, Alex shut off the water, setting the last dish in the strainer, and moved to the fridge, opening the door. Orange juice, milk, soda, V8, some ham on the bottom shelf, eggs, mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, pickles, bread, bagels, chocolate milk, lunch meat, and, opening the bottom drawers, she saw a couple of ears of corn, carrots, a head of lettuce, an onion, a few apples, and some tomatoes. Sighing, she closed the drawers and the door, and headed back into the living room. She paused, and turned to see the picture hanging up above the lamp. It was her picture, the one Buffy had found in her box. She smiled, and raised her hand, touching the picture.

"My God…I didn't know she still had this," she muttered softly to herself. She shook her head, her smile fading, and reached down, clicking on the lamp. Sighing, she dropped onto the couch, and clicked on the TV. After flipping thru the channels, she landed it on a music station and tossed the remote on the couch next to her.

Buffy led Spike up the front walk to her house, but stopped, turning around and stopping him.

"Spike, I want you to wait at the end of the walk…"

"Buffy, you said this was important…What is it?"

"You'll see in a minute. Go stand at the end of the walk and face the street, and don't turn around until I say it's okay." He sighed, but turned and did what she asked him to. Smiling, Buffy jogged up to the door, and opened it, leaning in. "Hey…" Alex looked up.

"Yeah?"

"Come here…" Alex walked over. Buffy stopped her before she could see outside.

"What?"

"Close your eyes. I've got a surprise for you." Alex gave her a look, but closed her eyes. "Can you see anything?"

"No…" she muttered, shaking her head.

"Good. Don't open them until I say it's okay." Buffy took her hand, and led her from the house, closing the door behind her. Carefully, she led Alex down the front walk, and stopped her right behind Spike. She took a deep breath, and started backing up towards the house. As she opened the door, she cupped her hands around her mouth, and called out, "Okay." Spike turned around, and Alex opened her eyes. They looked at each other, wide-eyed.

"Alex?"

"Spike?" They stood in silence for a few minutes, Buffy secretly watching from the window. Finally, Alex shook her head. "What…are you doing here?" she asked. He faintly smiled.

"Buffy told me she had something important to show me…"

"Told me I had a surprise…"

"Guess she was right, huh?" he asked, reaching up and rubbing his palm against his temple.

"You alright?"

"The voices have stopped." Alex took a shaky breath, and hesitantly touched his temple.

"I'm so sorry, Spike…" He shook his head.

"You made the voices stop, Alex. Don't be sorry…" She faintly smiled as he took her hand, and pulled it down. "It's been a long time."

"Yes it has…" They stood there for a little longer, in silence, just looking at each other, unsure. Finally, Spike moved a hand against her cheek, and bowed his head, kissing her. Buffy smiled, and let the curtain fall as she stepped away from the window.

Alex pulled away when she heard a car door, and looked behind Spike to see Dawn climbing out of a car, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Later, guys!" The girls in the car waved, and took off. Dawn didn't see Spike and Alex until she was standing right beside them. "Oh! Hi…" Buffy opened the front door.

"C'mon, Dawn, it's almost ten now…" Dawn nodded, waved to Spike and Alex, and jogged inside. Alex bit her lip, looking down, and sighed.

"Spike…" She paused, looking up at him.

"What?" She touched his temple again.

"What voices?" He shook his head, turning around.

"Voices…"

"Voices of what, Spike? Please, tell me…"

"Demons…Bad voices telling me to do what I don't want to do…"

"I made them go away?" He nodded, turning around and looking at her.

"Yeah…" She smiled, taking his hands.

"Spike…I'm sorry I left…" She turned her head at the sound of the front door opening, and saw Buffy come down the walk to them.

"Hey, guys…"

"Hey, Buffy."

"Spike?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Yes?" She smiled.

"Will you move out of that basement now?" Alex looked at Buffy in confusion.

"What basement?"

"Spike's been living in the school basement…It's not healthy, and I don't want him down there anymore…And, you know, living with Xander didn't exactly work." Alex bit her lip, and glanced behind her.

"Can he stay here? I mean, you know, since I'm here?" she asked. The two of them looked at her, but Buffy nodded.

"Sure. Course. You want him sleeping in the basement here?" she asked. Alex looked up at Spike, and he looked back at her, but said nothing.

"If he doesn't mind, I'd say it's up to you…" He shrugged.

"Anything." Buffy smiled.

"Come in when you're ready," she said, and headed back inside. Alex turned to see her close the door, and then looked back at Spike.

"You mind staying here?"

"No, but…How long are you here?" She shrugged.

"I'm not sure yet. A while, I hope." She sighed, and slid her arms around his waist, dropping her head against his chest. He smiled, and held her for a little while, letting the moon rise up to mid sky.

Alex rolled over, burying her face into her hand. Spike stood up, looking down at her. Buffy carefully pushed the door open.

"Spike? She okay?"

"Yeah…I think she had a long day, she fell asleep outside, standing," he said, looking over at her. Buffy nodded, and motioned him over.

"Listen, wherever you want to sleep is fine, save for my room and my sister's room." Spike nodded.

"Of course."

"You choose, you sleep. Goodnight, Spike."

"Goodnight, Buffy." She turned, and closed the door as she walked to her room. He heard her close her door, and turn the locks. Smiling, Spike turned back around to face Alex. She sighed, and rolled over, turning her back to him. "I suppose tonight I'll see how sleeping on the couch is…" Turning around, Spike opened the door, closing it behind him, and dropped onto the couch after pulling all the curtains.


	3. Chapter III

_Chapter 3_

Alex groaned, and rolled over, tossing her arm over the lump beside her. Yawning, she opened her eyes…and leapt off the bed. Her blanket hung over the corner of the bed, slowly slipping. The lump muttered something, and rolled over to face her. She sighed, her hand over her heart, when she realized it was Spike. Shaking her head, she left the room, moving into the kitchen. Buffy looked up from the sink.

"Hey, Alex…Thanks for doing the dishes last night, you didn't have to."

"Oh…No problem," she said slowly, glancing behind her.

"What?"

"Spike just scared the hell out of me…I woke up and found him asleep next to me." Buffy chuckled, and turned her head, shutting off the faucet. "Uh…where's your bowls?" Buffy nodded, downing a bit of water, and lowered the cup.

"Bowls, plates, glasses, cereal, soups, and canned goods," she said, pointing out each cupboard. "Then, pots and pans down there, and silverware over there." Alex nodded.

"Thanks, Buffy…You sure you don't mind me…and Spike…staying here?" she asked, looking over as she pulled out a bowl and a spoon.

"Course not. Alex, you're my friend…one of my best…" She scoffed.

"Quite the best friend I've become, running away from everyone and everything I held dear…" Buffy shook her head.

"Alex, you did it because you had to. We all understood that. And you didn't leave us empty-handed. Remember, you were the one to first start teaching me what I now know…" Alex smiled.

"Yeah…I guess your right. But still, I guess the whole thought of me just running away from you guys still haunts me." Buffy looked over at her.

"Alex, it shouldn't. We weren't upset, we completely understood why you did it." She smiled faintly as she jammed a spoonful of cereal into her mouth. All she could do was nod.

Alex pulled her legs up underneath her as she sat on the couch, watching a movie. Spike walked in, glancing at the opened curtains behind her. The sun had set about an hour ago, and Buffy had taken Dawn and Willow to see a movie.

"Thought you would have gone with Buffy," Spike said, dropping onto the couch beside her. Alex shrugged.

"Didn't feel like it…Would rather watch this." He glanced at the TV.

"What is it?"

"'Scent of a Woman.'" Spike nodded, his hands crossed over his chest. Alex's arms were crossed over her chest, too, but her eyelids kept drooping. They managed to sit in utter silence, save for the movie, for roughly an hour. Finally, Alex yawned, and her head drooped, and fell onto his shoulder. Spike looked down at her sleeping form, resting against him on the couch. Carefully, he took hold of her shoulders, and rolled her so she leaned against the arm of the couch. She laid that way for about fifteen minutes before rolling back against him. Grumbling beneath his breath, Spike picked her up, and carried her into her room, where he laid her down, clicked on her fan, shut off her light, and walked out, closing the door behind him.

_Alex wandered, slowly, down the sidewalk, and found herself at the cemetery, without realizing that that was where she had gone. Looking around her, making sure no one was there, she continued on between the gravestones, seeing a building in the middle of the cemetery. She continued thru, hearing the wind blowing thru the trees, and the whistle of a bird as it flew away. _

_Alex could recall when she was very little, no more than five or six, wandering thru here with her mother to go visit her great-grandmother's grave. The sun had been shining down, there was a cooling breeze, and birds and butterflies fluttered about overhead, making the entire cemetery look beautiful. At that time, Alex didn't fear death, or dying, or the pain she knew came from it. _

_Then there was the day she was there, when she was roughly fifteen. Her mother had taken her there, and Alex's first vampire experience happened. The creature erupted from a grave, grabbing her mother around the waist and pulling her back down. In a fury, Alex dove at the creature, a stick in her hand. She drove it through its heart, but it was too late. It had already bitten her mother, and, to make sure she didn't change, Alex was forced to stab her mother, too. Her mother was exploded into dust, like the vampire, and Alex fell back, crying, eyes wide with fear. _

_Alex shook away the sad, sad memory of her mother's death as she continued thru that cemetery. She heard a groan, and glanced behind her. Nothing. Slowly, she turned and faced forward, seeing still nothing. Shrugging it off as a sound in her head, she moved closer and closer to the tomb. Carefully, she pushed open a door, finding nothing inside but a few candlesticks, and a casket against the opposite wall. As she looked around, she heard a creaking sound, and turned to find the casket wide open, and the candles lit. Wide-eyed, she looked around her, and began to turn upon the creature that had come from the casket, with its skin slowly peeling off its hand, and its teeth so sharp, and so white, they were reflecting the candlelight…_

Alex screamed as she leapt off her bed. She stared blankly at the wall opposite her, barely hearing the doors open, and the feet racing, and her door slam open. Buffy slid beside her, with Willow, Spike, Dawn, Xander, Anya, and Kennedy (the last three had stayed the night) still in the doorway, Willow clicking the light on. Buffy took hold of her shoulders.

"Alex? Alex, what happened?" She didn't answer: her eyes were still wide, non-blinking, while her hands and bottom lip trembled. Buffy shook her gently. "Alex, say something…" She gasped, and leapt back, away from Buffy, falling onto her bed.

"What…when did you get here?" she asked, looking up at her. Buffy's hands were out, spread, her face twisted in complete confusion.

"Just now…You screamed…woke us all up," she said, motioning to the door. Alex looked over at the three in the doorway.

"Oh…so…sorry, guys…I didn't realize…I screamed…" she said, shaking her head and rubbing her eyes.

"It's okay, Alex," Dawn said softly. "Are you alright?"

"I…I think so…"

"Alright. If you need anything, you know where we are," Willow said, smiling kindly. She nodded.

"Thanks, guys…" Buffy, Dawn, and Willow left the room, but Spike rested his arms on the doorframe. Alex sighed, rubbing her hands over her face, and shook her head again. Running his nails over his bare chest to scratch an itch, Spike cleared his throat.

"You aren't alright, are you, Alex?" he asked. She jumped, and looked at him.

"I thought you went back and laid down…"

"You screamed pretty loudly…You aren't alright, are you, Alex?" he repeated. She sighed.

"No…well…Yes…No, I don't know! Shouldn't you be sleeping somewhere?" she snapped, looking over at him. Spike pushed the door closed as he walked into the room, kneeling on the bed beside her.

"Don't yell at a vampire who could kill you if he wanted…"

"Don't lecture a chick who could kill _you_ if she wanted," she retorted, looking back down at the bed, her head in her hands. Spike moved closer, running his hands over hers, and lifting her chin. She looked at him, and a few tears fell down her cheeks.

"What happened that made you scream?" he asked. She sighed, and pushed his hands away, crossing over to her window. She parted the curtains and shoved it open, letting the cool night air rush over her face.

"I don't know…A cemetery…some creature I only saw for a second or so…a tomb…I thought, for a second, I saw…her…" Spike glanced at her, slightly confused.

"Who?"

"My mother…" He sighed, and stood up, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Alex, your not in a tomb in a cemetery somewhere with a creature, and a brief vision of your mother. Your in a bedroom at Buffy Summers' house, in Sunnydale…with me." She turned around, and smiled.

"I know…but it was so…real. The fear, the pain, the confusion. Like it'd happened before or something…" He shrugged.

"Don't know, but its not real. C'mon, lay down, would you?" He took her arm, and moved her back over to the bed. She laid down, sighing, shaking her head. He reached down, clicking her lamp off, and crawled over her to lay beside her. "I'll stay till you fall asleep."

"Thanks, Spike…" She sighed, and rolled away from him, then closed her eyes, resting her head on the pillow again. Spike lay beside her, watching her lay still for a while. After a few minutes, she grumbled, and rolled towards him. He watched her move one arm beneath her head, and just toss the other one carelessly over his waist. He sighed, but didn't move it. Didn't wanna wake her, her being so close to falling asleep now.

Spike felt his own eyes begin to grow heavy, though he fought against it. She sighed in her sleep, and moved her body closer to his. He shook his head, and carefully moved her arm, standing up. Alex's arm hit the bed, and she whined a little bit. Spike paused at the door, turning to look at her.

"Mom…no…I'm sorry…" she whispered, squeezing her eyes closed. He sighed, placing his hands on the doorframe, and turned back towards her. After a second of watching her in the dark, he laid back down beside her, pushing her hair off her face.

"Shhh…" Alex squeezed her hand into a fist, then relaxed it, and sighed.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered again. He shook his head, but laid there, letting her sleep. Not too long after he laid down, he, too, fell asleep.

Alex's eyes twitched as she felt the sheet brush over her face. Swatting her hand at it, she rolled over. Opening her eyes, she sighed. Her window was still open, and her fan was on, and her lights were off. Thinking maybe that she'd just been dreaming most of the night before, she rolled over, and found herself staring directly into the back of Spike's head. She groaned, and sat up, looking down at him. His face was buried in the pillow, so she couldn't see if he was asleep or faking.

"Whatever…" she muttered, and climbed out of the bed, tugging at her shorts so they'd straighten out, and walked into the kitchen.

She set her now empty bowl in the sink, and filled it with warm water, letting it just sit there. Alex heard a door open, and turned her head a little. Spike walked out of her room, yawning, and scratching the back of his head.

"Mornin', Spike." He looked up.

"Oh, hi, Alex. G'morning," he replied.

"Thanks, again, Spike, for staying with me."

"No problem…In fact, my pleasure. I went to get a drink at one point, and you looked like you could start crying in your sleep…" She bit her lip, lightly chuckling.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't get the image of my mother's death out of my…" She trailed off as she turned to see Spike. Her eyes slightly widened.

"What?"

"Spike, you said you went to get a drink…did you ever get up after that?"

"I don't know…might have…why?"

"Because…" She reached behind her, tugging a paper towel off the roll, and stepped up to him. Lifting it, she wiped it roughly against his lip. Holding it out to him, she sighed. "This is why…" On the paper towel was a big blotch of somewhat dried blood, that she had wiped off his lip.


	4. Chapter IV

_**Chapter 4**_

Spike reached up, and touched his lip, and thought for a second, before nodding.

"Oh, right…Wasn't watching where I was going when I got up a few hours ago…slammed into the door frame…" Alex looked at him for a second, unsure.

"Honest?"

"Yes, Alex…What do you think, I went hunting or something?" She shrugged, but turned, tossing the towel into the garbage can.

"Well, I suppose not…You want anything while I'm all set to prepare someone breakfast?" she asked, wiggling her fingers as though she were going to reach for a gun. He chuckled.

"Nah. I'm fine…Thanks, though," he replied. As he headed out of the room, he turned towards her, and kissed her forehead. She smiled as he left the room. Sighing, she closed her eyes for a brief second…and saw an image of her mother. Her mother covered in blood, reaching out for her, though her once blue eyes were now sharp, and yellow-green, like a cats eyes, and she had vampire teeth. Alex gasped and snatched up a knife off the counter near her, opening and widening her eyes. Buffy held up her hands, stepping back.

"Alex, it's just me…You alright?"

"Sorry…I just…sorry…thought I saw something. Uh…you want some eggs or something? I'm in the mood for cooking breakfast…"

"Actually…sounds good…" Alex smiled, and, leaving the knife on the counter, dug around the fridge, finally pulling out eggs, a thawed pack of bacon, and even some sausage links.

"Cool…call you when it's ready?"

"You want some help?"

"Nah, I can do it."

Alex dished out eggs, bacon, and sausage onto six plates, for Buffy, then Willow, Xander, Dawn, Anya, and Kennedy, who'd woken up to the smell of food cooking in the kitchen. Balancing them very carefully on her arms, Alex cautiously moved into the living room.

"Kay, everyone take a plate…" They reached out quickly, so the plates didn't fall, and sat back down. "Be right back with drinks…" They began to laugh as she ran back in and came back out with glasses of orange juice.

Alex sat on the couch, knees pulled up, a crossword resting on them, with a pen in her hand. Buffy came into the hall, pulling her hair back into a ponytail, and glanced over.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?" she asked, looking up.

"I'm taking Dawn, Willow, Kennedy, and Anya to the cemetery for some training stuff, and dropping Xander off at home…Do you wanna come with?" Alex thought for a second, biting her lip.

"Uh, no, that's alright…"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, positive. I'm alright. Have fun," she said. Buffy smiled, and waved, heading out the door. The others followed after her, waving. Alex waved back, and watched the door shut behind them. Shrugging it off, she went back to her puzzle, biting on the end of her pen.

About an hour later, Alex looked around. It wasn't until then she'd realized she hadn't seen Spike since he left the kitchen. A little confused, she tossed her puzzle and pen to the table, and stood, heading to her room. No Spike. Moving down the hall, she checked each room, but didn't find him. Finally, she placed her hand on the doorknob that would take her to the basement. Pausing for a second, she took a deep breath, and pushed the door open. She headed down, and hesitated again about halfway.

"Spike? You down here?"

"Yeah," he replied, looking over at the stairs. She turned her head, and smiled. "Need something?"

"No…It just occurred to me I haven't seen you since you left the kitchen this morning, and I was kind of worried…" He shrugged. She suddenly noticed he was sitting on a cot-like bed against the cement wall, with a chain going from the wall to his wrist. "Uh...Spike? Why are you chained up?"

"Keeps me from hurting anyone," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. Alex moved across the basement, and sat beside him.

"You think your going to hurt someone?" she asked softly, reaching her hand over and touching the shackle around his wrist.

"Never know…" She shrugged.

"I suppose your right…" They sat there for a second, her hand still on his wrist. "It's good to see you again, Spike." He lifted his eyes.

"You too, Alex…You look good." She smiled.

"So do you…Spike?"

"Hm?" She paused.

"Uh…sorry, forgot what I wanted to say…" He smiled at her, and moved his eyes back to the floor. She shifted herself a bit, and pulled her legs beneath her. After a minute or so more of silence, she leaned over, pushing her lips against his. Spike turned his body, and kissed her back, his hands on her hips. Pulling her around, he lifted his head away from hers for a brief second, just to look down at her. Dropping his head, he kissed her again, and she slid her arms around his neck.

She lifted her head off his chest, hearing a car pulling into the driveway. She quickly stood up, and tugged her jeans on, glancing back at Spike as he laid, half asleep, on his bed. Yanking her shirt down over her head, she pulled her hair up into a ponytail, and raced up the steps, shoes in hand. Peeking out the front window, she saw Buffy pulling the car into the driveway in reverse. Tossing her shoes to the floor beside the couch, Alex ran her hands over her face, and moved into the kitchen, flipping on the water. She washed up a few dishes before the door opened. Buffy looked around, and smiled as she saw Alex washing up a few more of the dirty dishes in the sink.

"Hey, Alex…" She looked up, faking surprise.

"Oh, hey, Buffy! Didn't hear you come in…Did you have fun?" Buffy chuckled.

"Yeah…We were helping Dawn work on her fighting skills…" Alex smiled, and finished up, drying her hands. "Spike here?"

"Uh, I think he may be sleeping downstairs…At least, he was when I went to check on him a little bit ago…" she lied, pulling open the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Oh, alright…"

"I'm gonna go lay down, alright?"

"Yeah, sure. You feeling okay?"

"Mmmhmm…Just a little tired…"

"Well…feel better." Alex nodded, and crossed the hallway, closing her bedroom door behind her as she dropped onto her bed. She sighed, smiling, and reached over into the bag she'd brought with her. Digging around inside, she pulled out a picture frame. In it, was a photo of a woman. She had long, curly blonde hair, and sharp blue eyes, with nicely tanned skin in between. She was sort of tall, and thin. She was sitting on a park bench, laughing, wearing a yellow, flowery summer dress, with matching sandals. It was Alex's mother. Sighing, Alex set the picture up on her nightstand, and, leaving her water bottle right beside it, rolled over, closing her eyes.

_She looked around the cemetery, surprised. It was a bright, sunny day, and the birds were singing overhead. Alex turned, and froze. Her mother was walking towards her, in that same summer dress from the picture, holding the hand of a little five-year-old Alex. She faintly smiled, biting her lip. Her mother let go, and the little Alex went running thru the stones, towards one in particular._

"_Alex, don't run! You may hurt yourself!" her mother called._

"_Mom…?" she whispered. The woman didn't seem to hear or see her, but walked right on passed. Her mother kneeled down beside a gravestone, and the little Alex kneeled beside her. _

"_It's us again, Grandma," her mother said. "Nothing has changed, really, since we came out last week. Hope everything's good for you…"_

"_Yeah. Love you, Gwamma Balice…" Alex chuckled._

"_Grandma Balice…I remember you…very, very faintly…" Little Alex got back up, and wandered around, looking at the graves, peeking inside some tombs, and just being a curious kid. Alex moved nearer to her mother._

"_We love you, Grandma…" Alex raised her hands, pushing them against her chest, where her heart is placed._

"_I miss you so much, mom…I'm sorry I stabbed you, but I didn't want you to become evil…I'm sorry…I really miss you, mom…And I love you…" Her mother's spun around, her eyes turned back into those cat eyes she'd seen earlier, now covered in blood, her hair in a tangled mess, her dress covered in blood, and dirt and blood deep beneath her haggard fingernails. She reached out for Alex._

"_But mommy doesn't miss you, and she doesn't love you, and she'll never forgive you!" she hissed. Alex screamed, falling backwards over a stone. The form of her mother moved closer. _

"_No! Don't do this, you aren't my mother!" she screamed. _

"_Mommy does want a word with you, though! Come to mommy, Alex!" she wailed, bending over Alex, hands ready to strangle…_

Alex began screaming, clawing at her throat, and finally opened her eyes. She was looking up at Spike. His hands were on her shoulders, shaking her, to wake her up.

"Alex?" he asked. She shoved his hands away, looking down at herself, then around at her room. Her room. She wasn't in a graveyard, being attacked by a being who took the form of her dead mother. She was sitting on her bed, in her room, getting strange looks from Spike. Spike…She looked up at him, and threw her arms around his shoulders. He was surprised for a second, but put his arms around her waist.

"Oh, God…I'm not in a cemetery…I'm okay…" Spike pushed her down on the bed, and looked at her.

"You had that dream again?"

"Not the same one…This one I saw my mother…And she ended up being a demon dressed like my mother…Who tried to kill me…and then you woke me up…Thanks, Spike…"

"Well, I couldn't just ignore you. You were shaking, and flailing your arms, and gasping out and stuff…Hard to ignore…" She looked around, and then back at him, only to realize he wasn't wearing his shirt.

"Were you sleeping in here?" she asked. He nodded.

"Yeah…Well, not really sleeping…More like, laying there and trying to sleep. Buffy and Dawn ran out to get dinner, and Willow is downstairs doing…something." Alex nodded.

"Sorry, Spike," she stated, putting her head into her hands. He put an arm around her shoulder.

"Whatever your sorry for, it isn't your fault. I couldn't sleep anyways…" Alex sighed, and stood up, opening her door. "You going somewhere?"

"Just to the kitchen…I need a drink, and I don't mean water." Spike smirked, and followed her into the kitchen. She crouched down in front of the open fridge door, and rifled through the things inside, finally pulling out a bottle of Michelob, and standing, shoving the door closed. Spike chuckled from the doorway.

"You gonna have that all to yourself, or are you going to grab me one, too?"

"You didn't just dream your mother tried to kill you," she replied, but pulled one out and handed it to him. They stood there, looking at each other, nursing their beers, when lights came thru the window, and they heard a couple of car doors slam.

"Guess they're home," Spike noticed, looking out the window. Alex smiled, and walked passed him, smacking his shoulder. She pulled open the door, and watched Buffy and Dawn walk in with a couple of pizza's and some pop, plus a couple more bags of stuff.

"Thanks, Alex…" She nodded, and finished off her beer, tossing the bottle into the garbage.


	5. Chapter V

**_Chapter 5_**

Alex tossed her napkin in the garbage, and slid her plate into the dishwater, still laughing.

"Alright, guys, I'm going to go brush my teeth, and then I'm going to bed…it's almost one in the morning, and I'm tired again…" Buffy, Dawn, Willow, and Spike, still smiling, waved, and watched her head down the hall to the bathroom, leaving the door open as she rifled thru the cabinet for toothpaste.

She bent over the sink, and spit the toothpaste into the running water, watching it spin down into the drain. She let some water fall into her hand like it was a cup, and sucked it into her mouth, rinsing the rest of the paste from her gums, teeth, and tongue. After spitting it out and wiping her lip, she flipped off the water, and stood up. The door was still standing open, only now Willow stood there, her hands buried in her pockets. Alex jumped, and turned around.

"Willow, you surprised me," she said, a hand over her heart.

"Sorry…I just wanted to see if you were alright. You've seemed really tired lately…" Alex smiled.

"I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping too well the past few nights…I keep seeing things from my past, from before I ran off…" Willow nodded.

"Well…You know who to come to if you need a sort of cure or something," she smiled, pushing off the doorframe.

"Yep. Thanks, Wil," she replied, nodding her head. Giving her a quick hug, Alex slid down the hall and closed her door behind her as she walked into her room. Sighing, she dropped down onto her bed, head in her hands. Shaking her head, she tugged her shirt over her head, and let it fall to the floor. It was a warm night, and she didn't feel like changing, or opening her window.

"You aren't fine, are you, Alex?" She leapt off her bed, spinning towards her door. Spike was smiling at her from his place leaning against the back of the door.

"What the…Damnit, Spike, I hate it when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Sneak up on me, I didn't even know you were there…" He chuckled, but shrugged.

"You aren't fine, are you?" he repeated. She sighed.

"Yes, I am. Just tired. These dreams won't leave me alone…This past won't leave me alone…"

"That's why you left, isn't it? Because of your past…and your mother…Emilia…" Alex leapt off the bed and slammed her hand against his throat, knocking him into the door.

"Don't you _ever_ say her name. You aren't allowed to say her name, nobody is!" she cried, her face slowly turning red. Spike pushed his hands against her hand, but she didn't let go. "Do you understand me?" she cried. He tried to nod, but it didn't work, so he pushed out a "Yes" for her to hear. Letting out an angry sigh, Alex let him go, watching him fall to the floor.

"Good…" she muttered, and turned away from him, running her hands over her face.

"What is your problem with talking about your mother?" he asked.

"I…It's a long story, Spike, and I don't feel like talking about it, okay?" He shrugged, and carefully climbed up on the bed as she sat down on the edge of it. There was a knock at the door, and Dawn's voice came thru.

"Alex? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Dawny…Just freaked myself out…"

"Okay…We're still in the living room if you need us," she called, and headed off.

"Thanks," she muttered. Spike slid behind her, and placed his hands on her shoulders, giving them a squeeze. She groaned, but closed her eyes, letting him sit there.

"Alex, you aren't fine, why won't you just tell us what is wrong?"

"Because it isn't your problem, and you guys don't need to be involved if something happens…" she replied, turning her head to see him.

"What would happen?"

"Just leave me alone, Spike…I just want to be alone right now…" He bowed his head, kissing her shoulder, and slipped out of her room. She let one of her hands fall to that same shoulder, and faintly smiled as she dropped back onto her bed.

Alex sat out on the front porch the next morning, knees pulled together, elbows resting upon her knees, holding a cup of tea in her hands. She slightly moved her head when the door behind her opened, and Willow walked out, sitting beside her.

"What're you looking at?" she asked.

"Just…everything. Anything. And…nothing. Not really sure what I'm looking at…"

"You get a better night's sleep?"

"I hope so…Hey…Willow? Can I ask you a strictly hypothetical magic question?"

"Sure," she replied, nodding. "What?"

"Say I have a friend who feels nothing but remorse for something he knew he had to do, and wants to try and make things right again, what should he do?" Willow knitted her eyebrows together.

"Oh…you mean, like, what kind of a spell?"

"Yeah…" Willow paused, unsure, for a second.

"Well, I'm not sure. There's all kinds of spells that your friend could do…There's a forgiveness spell…and an apologetic spell…Then there's the redemption one, but that's very powerful, and could prove fatal to your friend…"

"What's it consist of?"

"Saying a chant, lighting a candle, and…being in the place where your friend was when he did what he did to feel the remorse he now feels…" she answered, and stopped, rolling her eyes upwards to make sure that was right. Nodding, she looked over at Alex.

"Oh…Do you have the spell, or…"

"I think I do…C'mon, let's see…" They stood up, and headed back inside, Willow leading her back into her bedroom. Willow kneeled down beside a cabinet, and pulled open the doors, flipping through all her books. "Oh, here we go," she stated, opening one up. Alex leaned down, and looked at the spell, but Willow held the book out to her. Alex moved her lips, mouthing the spell without sound, and closed her eyes, memorizing it.

"Thanks, Willow…" Willow nodded, and put the book away. Alex turned, and slipped out of the room, before Willow stood back up.

"So, Alex, what…" she began, and turned, seeing that Alex had left.

She walked into the kitchen, and splashed some water onto her face, taking in a sharp breath, and looking up at the wall.

"What's up, Spike?" she asked. He stopped mid-step, and looked at her back.

"How'd you know I was here?"

"I just knew…" she said, running her hands over her face and letting the water drip down her neck. "So, what's up? You coming in here to lecture me more, or are you really just going to rummage thru Buffy's kitchen for food?"

"Uh…I was actually going to see what she had to drink," he replied, opening the fridge. Alex paused, a hurt look on her face that Spike couldn't see, and nodded.

"Oh, alright…Well…I'm going to go for a walk, okay? Anyone asks, I'll be back later," she said, dried off her neck and face and hands with a towel on the counter, and walked out the door. Spike turned, and watched her pull the door shut after her.

She had her hands jammed into her pockets, and walked for nearly an hour before pausing to see where she was. Her eyes widened, and she found herself in the cemetery. After a slight hesitation, she continued inside the cemetery, keeping an eye out for any creature that would pop out of the ground at her. She came to a stop at her great-grandmother's gravestone, and smiled faintly.

"Hi, Grandma Balice…I know I haven't come by to see you in a long time, but I moved…and I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I love you…And I hope you and mom and Grandma Nexi are taking care of each other…" She patted the top of the stone, and continued to wander. She had only walked a couple minutes before catching her foot in a root, and falling forward. Groaning, she pushed herself onto her knees, and dusted off her arms.

"Argh!" She spun around, and the creature slammed into her, knocking her backwards. She cried out, falling back, but slammed her feet into its stomach, knocking it over her head and into another stone. It shoved itself up, and spun to look at her. She was on her feet, ready for him, now.

"You want me, come and get me, chicken shit. Don't just stand there and look at me funny…" The vampire paused, and took a step towards her.

"Alex? Alex Hardt?" She stepped back, not letting her defenses down.

"How'd you…Who are you?"

"It's me! Daniel! Daniel Arverstone! We were in the same math class, senior year!" She stared at him, a little unsure, and faintly smiled.

"Oh, god…Daniel, what happened to you?"

"Yeah, you know, I'm not sure. I was actually in college, and I think it had been a late night, you know? Getting dark, walking back to my apartment…I guess I got…uh…transformed into a vampire…"

"Sired. It's, uh, called Siring…"

"Right, that. I suppose that happened on my way home…Like, three weeks ago…" Alex shook her head.

"You know, even though I really enjoyed having you around in high school, it can't happen now. Your evil…"

"Oh, yeah, I know…But I'm not going without a fight…"

"You never have." She jumped up, kicking him in the face, and knocking him backwards. He spun around, grabbing her foot, and knocked her to the ground. She grunted, but as he jumped on top of her, she slammed her fist into his face, knocking him over. She dug into her pocket, removing a stake, and, spinning it in her fingers, slammed it downwards. It pierced his chest, and he _poofed_ into dust. She sighed, slipping the stake back into her pocket, and stood up. "Sorry, Daniel…I had no choice…" she said softly, and turned away. Cracking her knuckles, Alex headed out of the cemetery, but not before noticing the tomb, about ten feet behind her. The tomb from her dreams. Shaking her head, she continued, quickly, out of the cemetery, and back towards Buffy's.

Alex strode casually down the sidewalk towards the house, and looked up as Spike walked up to her.

"Hi…Were you, like, waiting for me or something?" she asked.

"Sort of…Buffy wanted to ask you something, and told me to come try to find you…"

"Well, I'm here, no need to find me…" she said, and slipped past him up the sidewalk. Spike stopped her, and she turned to look at him. "What?"

"Where did you go?" She pushed her hair back off her face, and shrugged.

"Around…If your still worried that I'm not okay, I'm perfectly fine." He bowed his head, kissing her quickly, and pushed her towards the door. Alex bit her lip, faintly smiling, and walked into the house and into the living room. "Hey, Buffy…What's up?" Buffy looked up from her book, and set it on the coffee table.

"Come on in, sit down." Alex nodded, and sat, her legs pulled underneath her.

"So, what's up? Spike said you wanted to ask me something?"

"Yeah…I did…Are you feeling okay? I don't think I've seen you more than, maybe, an hour or so, the whole time you've been here…And you seem to get tired easier, and Willow mentioned something about you not even offering to do circle work with her, like you used to…"Alex shrugged.

"I'm fine…I've relaxed quite a bit since I moved, and I suppose I just haven't moved back into my Sunnydale system yet. Then I suppose I just don't sleep right, or I sleep too much, or too little, and that's why I'm tired…and as with the circle work, I haven't even thought of it…Thanks though, I'll ask her if we can do some later…" Buffy nodded, and patted Alex's shoulder.

"If something's wrong, you'll tell us, won't you?"

"Of course I will, Buffy…You guys are my friends…Listen, I'm going to take a shower, and go unpack my things…"

"You haven't done that?"

"Nope… well…I mean…a few things, I have, but not everything…" Buffy smiled, and nodded.

"Alright…Thanks for talking to me."

"Any time, Buffy…" Alex stood up as Spike closed the front door, and she walked passed him, to the bathroom.

She tugged her jeans on, humming to herself, and ran a brush thru her still wet hair before pulling her shirt on. She popped open a stick of deodorant, and put some on, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Setting the stick inside the medicine cabinet, she picked up her shoes and socks, holding them in one hand, and lifted a towel off the curtain rod, rubbing it against her hair. After jamming her hairbrush into her pocket and shutting off the light, Alex pulled open the door and headed to her room, rubbing the towel on her head. She let it hang about her shoulders as she shook her head, and opened her door.

Humming to herself again, she crossed over to her closet, and set her shoes inside. She let the towel fall to the small pile of dirty clothes in the corner, and turned to grab her suitcase. She paused, eyes wide as they rested on the nightstand. She dropped to her knees, rifling thru her drawers, under her bed, in the closet, and tossing her pillow and blanket to the floor.

"No! Where'd it go!" she exclaimed, dropping to her knees to look beneath the bed again. Her door opened, and Buffy looked in at her.

"Alex? You okay?"

"No, I'm not okay, somebody took it!"

"Took what?" she asked, looking around her room. Alex sat up on her knees, looking at Buffy.

"The only picture I have of my mother!"


	6. Chapter VI

_**Chapter 6**_

Alex sat, her head in her hands and her legs pulled up beneath her, on the couch in the living room. Spike, Willow, Buffy, and Dawn turned the house inside out and inside in again, without finding that picture. Willow walked out and sat down beside Alex.

"That was the only picture of her you had?"

"Yeah…my dad had left, and I never thought she'd be taken from me…" she said, nodding. Willow reached out, patting Alex's knee.

"Well, don't worry, Alex. I'm sure we'll find it. How many places could a picture have gone without one of us taking it?" she asked, flashing her a reassuring smile. Alex looked over, and smiled back.

"I guess your right…It's just…Without that picture, all I have are my memories, and of all the memories I have of my mother, they've all started to become lies, and turn into these fake, fake things that never really happened…" Willow put her arms around Alex, and Alex hugged her back.

"It'll be okay, Alex, we'll find it…" She smiled.

"Thanks, Willow…" Willow pulled back.

"Anytime, Alex. You're my friend, remember?"

"Yeah…yeah, I do…and you're my friend too…" Alex lifted her eyes as Spike walked into the room, Buffy and Dawn behind him.

"Well, I couldn't find the picture, but I found the frame it was in…" Alex gave him an odd look, and he handed her the intricately designed wood frame the picture had been in.

"But…well, now I'm even more confused. Not finding any of it I'd understand, but just the frame? Whoever took it really wanted that picture…" she stated, dropping the frame onto the table and walking into the kitchen. She leaned over the sink, staring down at the drain, with nothing but a blank look on her face. She heard the door open, and Willow poked her head into the room.

"Alex? Buffy and Dawn and I are going to run to the video store, to try and find a good comedy to watch…Anything in particular you want?"

"No…Thanks, though, Willow…Hey…" She looked up.

"Yeah?"

"When you guys get back, you wanna do some circle work?" she asked, smiling. Willow smiled.

"Sure! If you really want to, I mean…"

"Of course I do."

"Then, yeah, I do. We can do it in the basement." Alex nodded.

"Okay, then. See you when you get back." Willow nodded, and waved, heading out the door. Alex rested her elbows against the sink, and closed her eyes for a second, trying to figure out where her mother's photo would have gone. She faintly heard Spike's shoes on the kitchen floor, but was still surprised when he slid his arms around her waist, and stood her up straight. "What?" she asked.

"You aren't okay, Alex…You're acting depressed…In a very bad way. You sleep all the time, unless your eating or choosing to go for a walk to the cemetery and back, and you hardly spend time with any of the friends you came back to see…" She turned around to face him, but he didn't let her go.

"I'm fine, Spike. All that's wrong with me, aside from someone taking that picture of my mother, is that this place won't let me be forgiven for killing her when I had no choice, or for being the Slayer that I was born, and raised, to be…Okay?" Spike pushed her back against the counter, and she groaned as the edge of it jabbed her in the back. He lifted his hands, and pushed her hair off her face.

"Prove it to me, Alex…Spend one whole day with your friends, and not sleeping." She sighed.

"Fine, fine, I will…I'll do it today…" He smiled, and nodded.

"Good…Now…" He trailed, and bowed his head, kissing her. She smirked, and slid her arms around his neck. He pulled back, and flashed her a smirk. She began to laugh, and pulled away, walking into the hallway, her hands in her pockets. "Where do you think your going?" he asked, following her.

"Outside, in the backyard…Objections?" she asked, glancing back at him as she pushed open the back door.

"No…Suppose not…"

They sat in the grass in the backyard, facing each other, and Spike reached over, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Alex, what, exactly, did you dream that woke up the entire house that one night?"

"Uh…You mean…"

"The dream with the tomb…What happened?" She sighed, and dropped her hands into her lap.

"I was walking thru the cemetery, and thinking about how different it seemed from when I was there when I was, like, five or six, with my mother. When I was little, it seemed so nice there. The sun always shining, a breeze blowing, the birds chirping. And until I was, like, fifteen, I loved going thru the cemetery with her. After that, it just lost its appeal. But for some reason, in my dream, I was going back thru, and seeing that it was so dark, so dreary, so…empty, you know?" He nodded. "At some point I came upon a tomb, and went in, though I don't know why…There were unlit candles and a closed casket…But I turned around once, and the casket was open and the candles were lit. As I turned back around, I saw, only for a second, the bright white teeth of a creature, and the skin around in, but it wasn't much. I saw teeth, and noticed that it's skin was peeling and falling off…But that was it…That's when I screamed, I guess…Cuz then I was awake, and seeing Buffy in front of me…"

"Why did it lose its appeal for you?" Spike asked, running his thumb over her cheek. She closed her eyes, and lowered her head, feeling the tear run over her eye and down her cheek.

"My mother was bitten in that cemetery," she said, and looked away from him. Spike lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"You feel bad about having to kill her, don't you?" he asked. Alex looked into his eyes, and nodded.

"Of course I do. She was my mother…I loved her more than anything in the world…" Spike faintly smiled.

"I know what that's like…" Alex knitted her eyebrows together.

"What?"

"To love your mother…I mean, not _your_ mother, but _a_ mother, in particular…" She nodded, and then widened her eyes, nodding more, like she understood.

"You mean…Your…mother…"

"Yeah…" Alex looked at him for a second: he was wearing his usual black jeans, with a sleeveless black shirt. He had his legs crossed, so he was sitting Indian style, like her. She faintly smiled, and moved to her knees, hugging him. He hugged her back, and when she sat back, he smiled. "What was that for?" She shrugged.

"You look like you needed a hug," she said in a kid-like voice that made him laugh.

"Alex! Spike! You two here?" Dawn called. They looked back at the house, and he stood, pulling her with.

"Guess we get movie hour, don't we?"

"Not yet…I promised Willow we'd do circle work. This is where I start spending the day with my friends…well…actually…it started spending the time they were gone with you," she said, kissing his cheek, and jogged inside. He smiled, and followed.

Alex and Willow sat in a protective circle in the basement, eyes closed, chanting. They were down there for about a half hour before Willow started laughing. Alex opened her eyes.

"What?"

"It tickled!"

"What?" Willow took a breath, to try and explain.

"We messed up some of the words, and turned it into a ticklish spell, and it tickled!" she cried, laughing. Alex began to laugh, too, and stood, pulling Willow with. Laughing, they climbed up the steps, and found Buffy and Dawn in the living room, munching on pizza. Alex looked around as Willow dropped down beside them, grabbing a plate of pizza.

"Where's Spike?" she asked.

"Oh, he said he was going for a walk…He'll be back later, though…" Alex nodded, and dropped down on Willow's other side, grabbing a plate of pizza, too.

"Let's start the movie," she said, smiling brightly. They began to giggle, and Buffy hit PLAY, watching the movie pop up on the TV.

Alex ran her hands over her face, laughing hysterically. The others couldn't help but laugh as she tried to stop.

"I know it wasn't very funny, but I can't help it!" she managed to exclaim while laughing. They heard the door open, and she looked up, red in the face, as Spike came into the room. He paused, seeing Alex hardly able to control herself.

"Alright, not sure I want to know…Any pizza left?" he asked. Buffy motioned to the box on the table, mumbling, "Help yourself," thru a mouthful of pizza. He smirked, and came into the room.

Alex sat in the basement, eyes closed, legs crossed Indian style. The others were in bed, seeing as it was nearly three A.M. She took a deep breath, and began to clear her mind, to try and see a decent memory of her mother that, hopefully, wouldn't turn evil. After a while, she finally found one.

_She was six. Her mother took her to the fair, and led her around until they found the ponies. Emilia lifted her over the fence, and sat her on the pony._

"_There you go, honey…everything's going to be fine, I'm right here…"_ Alex faintly smiled. _Emilia beamed as Alex's pony followed in the line of the others._

"_Mommy!" she whined, frightened._

"_Honey, it's okay! I'm right here, you'll be just fine," she said. _

"_I want you to be over here with me! What if I fall?" Emilia glanced at the man running the pony ride, and he nodded. Emilia slipped between the ponies, and stood beside the one Alex was on._

"_How's this, honey?"_

"_Thank you mommy!" Alex was beaming, now, too. _Alex sighed sadly, but kept the faint smile on her lips. She felt a chilling breeze on her back, and slightly turned her head, keeping her eyes closed.

"Someone there?" No answer. Shrugging, she turned her head back, and watched the memory more. _Her mother walked around the circle beside Alex and her pony. After going around a few times, the ponies stopped, and Emilia helped Alex down. She leaned against the fence, lowering her daughter over it, and smiled. After just a second, the smile faded, and Emilia looked over to the place where Alex felt she was standing at to watch. Emilia's eyes were cat-like again._

"I'm right here…" The breath was warm and yet chilling on Alex's neck as the words were whispered in her ear. She opened her eyes wide, and spun around. Behind her was her mother, covered in dirt and blood, looking much like she had in the dream of her at the cemetery, or the vision of her Alex had had in the kitchen a few days earlier. She cried out, scrambling backwards, and pushed her back against the wall.

"What do you want from me!" she cried.

"I want you to _pay_ for what you've done to me!" she screamed. Alex cried out as the cold fingers enclosed around her neck.


	7. Chapter VII

_Chapter 7_

The door at the top of the steps burst open, and Alex could see Spike flying down the stairs, in just his jeans and tennis shoes, and skid to a halt near her feet. She gasped, realizing that her mother wasn't there. It was just her, against the cold concrete wall, and Spike, standing, breathing heavily, wide-eyed, near her feet, standing at the ready. She scrambled to her knees, and looked around, trying to find her mother. She was no where in sight.

Spike dabbed the wet cloth against the cut on Alex's forehead, and she sighed, hunched in her chair a little.

"What happened down there, Alex?" he asked. She shrugged.

"I'm not entirely sure…I was looking for a memory of my mom that couldn't possibly turn evil and scare me…I was six, and she took me to the fair to ride a pony. It wasn't until she took me off that she turned and looked at _me_…not the little me, but the me that was watching it happen…and I heard her tell me she was right there…I spun around to find her dead, bloody, rotting corpse behind me, and she said she wanted me to pay for what I've done…and then she reached out for my throat…and you came downstairs, and she was just…Gone. Poof, without a trace…" Spike set the cloth down, and pushed a band-aid over her cut. She flinched, and reached up, rubbing the band-aid. He sighed, and shook his head.

"Are you positive that everything is okay with you? Its just nightmares?" he asked, touching her cheek. She reached up, and placed her hand over his, looking up at him.

"As positive as I can be…" she said, and stood up. "I think I'm going to go to bed now…is that okay?"

"If that's what you want…" She nodded, and started out of the room, but paused near the steps.

"Where were you planning on sleeping tonight?"

"Not sure yet…"

"You wanna stay with me?"

"Might be best…for you, anyways." She stuck her tongue out at him as he opened the front door.

"Where are you going?"

"Checking on the sky…seeing the weather…" He peeked up at the clouds, and closed the door. "Looks like rain…" She nodded, and walked to her room, pushing the door closed behind Spike. "You gonna be okay?" he asked, running his hand over her hair, and turning her to see him.

"I'll be fine…" she replied, nodding. Glancing at him one more time, she turned, and climbed underneath her blanket, clicking her light off before letting her head fall to her pillow.

Alex stared up at the ceiling, unable to sleep, and glanced over at Spike's darkened figure. The curtain's were down, blocking much of the moonlight, and there weren't any lights on in her room, so she was somewhat struggling to see him in her room. He was facing her, eyes closed, dead to the world, and she couldn't help but smile. Sighing, she rolled away from him, and pulled one arm under her head, closing her eyes.

"Let me sleep, God…Please…" she muttered, and took a deep breath, clearing her mind and stopping much of her movements. She was only laying like that for a few moments before the image of her mother flashed in her mind. She jumped off the bed, and looked around. Nothing there but the still darkness. She hunched down, sitting on the end of her bed, and rubbed her eyes. The image itself was gone, but she was still left with the feeling it held. She opened her eyes, and moved over into the corner of her room, removing a book and a little book light from her bags.

Spike rolled over, and threw his arm over the empty place on the bed where Alex should have been. Opening one eye, he looked around, and saw the soft glow of the book light in the corner.

"Alex?" he grumbled, lifting his head. She was gone: her book light sat atop her book, but Alex was not there. Spike looked around again, but nothing seemed really out of place. Standing, he exited her room, and headed to the front door. It stood partially open, and the light from the living room was still on. He stepped into the living room, and looked around. No sign of her, but there were rumpled blankets on the couch, signifying that she may have laid there for a time. Pulling the door open, and closed behind him, Spike stepped outside, and looked around. No Alex. "Alex?" he called, still a bit groggy.

"Spike?" He turned his head, and saw her standing, a little confused, behind him, in the foyer. He nodded, and stepped back inside.

"You alright? I woke up and you were gone…" She faintly smiled.

"I'm fine…Just had to use the bathroom…"

"What was with the book and the light?" he asked as they went back into her room.

"Couldn't sleep, so I decided to read." She turned the lock on her door, and moved back to the bed, laying beside him. Spike slid his arm around her waist, and pulled her back against him.

"Well…Sleep…It's probably not good for you to keep getting up," he said, faintly smiling. She shrugged, and rolled towards him, burying her head in his shoulder as she closed her eyes. He smirked, and closed his eyes, too, resting his chin on the top of her head.

Spike rolled over, falling right off the bed, the next morning. He groaned, and rubbed his head, which had hit the nightstand on the way down.

"Damn table…" he muttered. He looked over, and noticed the bed was empty, though this time he was not as worried. The clock on the wall read 11:47. Shaking his head, Spike stood, and walked out of the room, and into the bathroom for a shower.

Buffy was down in the basement, and Dawn was curled up on the couch when Spike finally came out of the shower. He walked in, tugging his shirt down to his waist.

"You okay, Dawn?"

"Where's Alex?" she asked. He raised an eyebrow.

"Thought she was out here…She's not sleeping. Why?"

"She's not in her room, the bathroom, any of the other rooms, or the basement. Willow's sleeping, we got Xander coming over, and Buffy is double checking the basement…have you seen Alex this morning?" she asked, letting her feet fall to the floor.

"No…last time I saw her was…really early, a few hours ago, I think…Not sure…But it was still dark out."

"Did she seem odd?"

"No…Just…Well, she hadn't slept yet, and we'd gone to bed about four hours earlier, I think." Dawn nodded, and Buffy came back up the steps just as Xander came thru the door.

"It's probably nothing to be too worried about, but something just doesn't feel right, her being gone this morning…" Dawn nodded. Willow came out into the living room, and looked around, confused.

"What's going on?"

"Alex is gone…Willow, can you do a locator spell?"

"Yeah. Sure, of course…"

Willow glanced over her shoulder at Buffy and Dawn and Spike and Xander.

"Alex is at the cemetery…" Spike nodded.

"Why would she be there?" Dawn asked. Spike, Xander, Buffy, and Willow looked at each other.

"Probably to visit someone…" Willow lowered her eyes, biting her lip.

"Willow? Do you know something?" Buffy asked. Willow stood up, nodding.

"Well, a couple days ago, she wanted to ask me a hypothetical magic question…"

"Which was?"

"How to make things right again if all a person felt is remorse for something they had no choice but to do…"

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her that there were a bunch of spells…but the one she seemed interested in was redemption spell…"

"How does that one work?" Xander asked. Willow motioned them to follow her, and she pulled the book from the cabinet in her room, showing them.

"Like this," she replied, pointing it out.

"Willow, if someone with less magic powers than you tried this, they could die, you realize this, right?" Buffy asked. She nodded.

"Well, I didn't think anything of it at the time! I was going along with the hypothetical question!"

"But why the cemetery?" Spike thought for a second.

"That's where she had to kill her mother before she could be transformed into a vampire…" They all looked at each other, and Willow tossed the book to her bed.

"We have to stop her…"

"Let me go…I'll go first," Spike said, and, grabbing up his jacket from a chair in the living room, headed out the door.

Alex kept her hands out of her pockets, eyes fixed on the tomb she'd seen in her dreams so many times. In one pocket of her coat were a few stakes, in the other a candle and a lighter. She continued up the small hill, past the graves, towards the tomb.

"Alex! Stop!" Spike called, running up behind her. She didn't. He ran up, and grabbed her shoulder. She stopped, and spun, slamming her fist into his face. He turned away, but when he turned back, his face was formed into the vampire he was. "Shouldn't hit me, Alex…" he growled, and stuck out his hand to grab her throat. She knocked it away, anger in her now blood red eyes, and slammed her hand against his chest, knocking him into a gravestone, and then to the ground, where he had to struggle to sit up.

"Don't get in my way, Spike…I have to do this or she'll never leave me alone!" He grabbed her shoulders.

"I won't let you…" She shoved him back into the stone, her hand enclosed around his throat.

"You can't stop me…You've fought me once, and I almost killed you, but I chose to spare your life, do you remember?" she hissed, squeezing.

"Yes…" he choked out.

"Good…now back off," she said, throwing him back into the ground, and moving towards the tomb again. He began to cough, and watched her, helplessly, as she shoved open the door to the tomb. After a moment of being unable to move, he pulled himself up with some help from the stone. Turning his head, he saw Buffy's car pull up down the hill. He stumbled over to it.

Alex looked around the tomb. The candles, the casket…all like what she'd seen in her dreams. _Exactly_ like what she'd seen.

"Alright…let's see…" She removed her jacket, tossing it over near the steps that brought her to the solid floor of the tomb, and rifled thru it, removing her candle, and her lighter. Walking around, she lit all the candles, and, after setting hers on top of the casket, lit that one, as well. After pulling her finger off the lighter, she blew on it once and tossed it to her jacket. Taking a deep breath, she stood in the exact center of the tomb, and closed her eyes, her hands in front of her, formed like she was praying.

Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Dawn quickly got out of the car, and Spike led them up the hill, towards the tomb.

"God, I hope we're not too late!" Dawn cried, as they ran.

Alex took in another deep breath.

"Redirme poinē. Redirme dēath. Redirme heorte acan, heorte brecan. Forgiefan mē. Forgiefan eall. Redirme. Forgiefan. Redirme…Redirme…" She kept her eyes closed, but she did feel the wind begin to blow.

Xander shoved the door open, and the five of them shielded their eyes from the amazing light erupting from inside.

"Alex!" Willow called. No answer. They took a breath, and charged in, only to find the light surrounding Alex. She was up in the air now, her arms stretched out to her sides, and her legs still together, slightly, slightly resembling Jesus on the cross.

"Alex, stop this!"

"She can't! She's already started, she can't stop," Willow groaned.

"Well, can we stop it?" Dawn called.

"I don't know!" Willow called.

"You should know! She can die up there!" Xander called. Willow sighed, thinking really hard. Alex began to twitch up in the air, and Buffy, who stood in front of her, looked at her for a second before crying out.

"What?"

"She's dying up there! Willow, think of something!"

"I'm trying!" she cried, and grabbed her head, trying to conjure something up. Alex began to groan, and her head was rolling about on her shoulders. Spike's eyes widened when the single drop of blood rolled off her lower lip, and splattered onto the ground.

"Think harder!" he exclaimed.

"If you keep pushing me, Spike, I'm gonna kick your ass," she snapped, and looked up at Alex. After a second, it hit her. "I got it!" she cried, and ran around in front of her. Buffy moved off to the side, and Willow raised her arms up.

"Cancellus espeller. Cancellus effectus. Salvāre hire! Salvāre hire!" she cried, her eyes wide, concentrating hard on Alex. Alex cried out, once, and the lights stopped. The wind stopped. Alex fell, and Xander reached out, catching her, and set her down, carefully, on the concrete. She rolled her head to the side, eyes closed, but didn't wake up. A drop of blood trickled out of the corner of her mouth, and over her cheek. Buffy kneeled beside her, pushing her hair back.

"C'mon, Alex, open your eyes…look at us…" The wind picked up rather quickly, and they turned at the scream.

"NO! You will not take my daughter from me! SHE IS MINE!" Emilia came at them, in the horrifying form that Alex had seen her as in her dreams, and in the basement. Willow jumped up, holding her hands to the spirit.

"Bēon gān, yfel spīritus! Bēon gān, daimōn! Bæc to hwǽr ēow cuman!" she cried. The spirit screamed, and flew back into the wall, disappearing along with the wind. It was now just Xander, Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Spike, and a still unconscious Alex.

_A/N: _

_What I wrote in the quotes beside the 's, don't check me on them. I'm just using the words in the form of their roots, which aren't all the same language. DON'T CHECK ME ON IT! Here's the translations:_

_ Redemption for pain. Redemption for death. Redemption for heartache, heartbreak. Forgive me. Forgive all. Redemption. Forgiveness. Redemption…Redemption._

_Cancel spell, cancel effect. Save her! Save her!_

_Be gone, evil spirit! Be gone, demon! Back to where you came!_


	8. Chapter VIII

_Chapter 8_

Willow pushed the door open with her foot, and set the bowl of cool water on the nightstand next to Alex's bed. She was still unconscious, and had been for the past two days. After ringing out the washcloth, Willow removed the band-aid Alex had on, and placed the cloth over her forehead.

"Anything yet?" she asked, dabbing some cool water on Alex's neck.

"Nothing…Just breathing…Which is still good…" Spike replied, standing. She nodded, and turned her head to see him.

"You going off watch?"

"Yeah…I'll send Xander in…"

"I can do it…It's okay."

"You sure?"

"Yeah…" Spike nodded, and headed out of the room. Willow sat down beside Alex on the bed, and picked up the cloth, dabbing it over her face to keep her cool. "Alex…you should wake up…We're all worried about you…" Sighing, Willow put the cloth back on her forehead, and moved across the room, bringing the chair Spike had been in over by the bed.

Spike leaned against the wall in the living room, a cigarette in his lips. It was past midnight, and the others had gone to sleep. He was supposed to be watching Alex, but didn't feel like smoking in her room, especially when she wasn't conscious. After standing there with the cigarette for a minute, he pulled it from his lips, blowing out the smoke, and went into her room to check on her. His eyes widened, when he realized she wasn't in her bed. He moved to the other side, but she wasn't on the floor. Looking around, he ran out of the room, and into the kitchen, setting his cigarette on the edge of the sink. He moved into the living room, and looked around. No sign that she'd even come thru.

"Alex?" he asked, not really wanting to wake the others up. He jogged downstairs, to the basement, and found no one. Heading back up into the kitchen, he paused, seeing his cigarette, though still balancing on the edge of the sink, had been put out. He lit it up again, putting it to his lips, and looked around him. Nothing. "Alex?" He glanced out the window, watching the rain pour down, and heard a soft _thud_ over his head. Looking up, he realized something was on the roof.

He jogged off the front porch, and looked up at the roof. In the darkness, he could barely make out a form of someone on the roof, but knew someone was there, nonetheless. Climbing up to the roof, Spike left his cigarette in his mouth, even though the rain had put it out already.

"Hey! Who's there?" he called. They took a step away from him, but didn't answer. He hopped across the room, and took hold of the person's arm. As he spun them towards him, lightening flashed, and he saw Alex's face in the brief light. "Alex? What are you doing up here, it's pouring!"

"It was really hot in my room…And I didn't know where anyone was…" He breathed a sigh of relief, and raised an eyebrow as she lifted her hand. Her fingers enclosed around the cigarette, and she flicked it off the roof. "It was useless now, anyways," she stated, and blinked slowly.

"Alex?" She dropped down, sitting on the roof, her hands supporting her. Spike sat beside her. "Alex, come on, let's get you back inside…"

"It's hot in there," she replied, not looking up at him.

"We'll turn on your fan and open the window a bit, c'mon. You'll catch cold out here…" He pulled her up, and hopped off the roof with her, helping her back inside.

"But, Spike…It's hot…"

"I know, Alex…I know…Just…do this for me…" She faintly nodded, letting her head roll about on her shoulders. He sat her on the edge of the bed, and put her face in his hands. "Sit right here, I'll be back in a second…" He hurried out of the room, and came back with a blue towel and a white towel. Letting the blue one drop to the floor, he took the white one, and placed it on top of her head, rubbing it around to dry her hair a bit. "Do you feel any better now than when we found you in the tomb?"

"The…tomb?" she asked slowly, looking up at him. He nodded, and sat beside her.

"Yes…" She paused, thinking.

"I remember nothing but pain in the tomb…so I think I feel better now…" He smiled, and let the towel hang around her shoulders.

"Your soaked to the bone, Alex…you should change…"

"I can't, Spike…"

"Yes, you can…"

"No, I mean…I really can't…you saw me up on the roof…I could barely stand anymore…What makes you think I can change…?" He stood, and moved to her closet, pulling out a T-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"Come on, Alex…I'll even help you right now…" Pushing her door closed, he moved the towel from around her neck, and dropped it to the floor. "Arms up…"

"Can't…" she muttered, lowering her eyes. He sighed, but pulled her long sleeves over her hands, and tugged the shirt over her head. As it fell to the floor, he tugged her jeans off, too. She faintly smiled, looking at him.

"Alright…Can you move your legs a bit?" he asked, holding out the shorts. She bit her lip, and lifted her legs a little, just enough for him to pull the shorts on her. He took her shirt, and pulled her head thru the neck of it, and moved her arms thru the sleeves. As her arms fell back to her sides, he saw the marks on her lower arm, and lifted it up again. "Alex…What happened?" he asked. She had faint slashes on her arms, that resembled X's. She looked down.

"Must've happened in the tomb…" she mumbled, and blinked, yawning. He pushed her hair off her face, and laid her back on her bed, letting her head hit her pillow.

"Alright, you just rest now, okay? You've had a long couple of days…" She nodded, and he stood, clicking on her fan and cracking her window a bit. As he headed to the door, she groaned, and struggled to roll herself onto her side.

"Spike…" He turned around.

"What?"

"Don't leave me in here…alone…" He faintly smiled.

"I'm going to get you a bottle of water…I'll be right back…" She sighed, and fell back onto her back, looking up at the ceiling. She couldn't remember much of what was said or what was seen in the tomb, but she could remember some screams, and hitting something before hitting the ground…and the feeling of a spear being jammed thru her stomach as she spoke the spell. Alex closed her eyes, and sighed.

"Redirme poinē. Redirme dēath…" she mumbled. Spike opened the door, lightly humming to himself, and lifted his head. He was frozen to the spot, eyes wide, now silenced. Alex was laying in her bed, her hands laying a small space from her sides, and her feet together, looking similar to how she looked in the tomb. Above her was the faint, faint outline of her mother, just hovering. Alex's lips were moving, but she didn't seem conscious of it…or conscious at all, for that matter. "Redirme heorte acan, heorte brecan. Forgiefan mē. Forgiefan eall…" Spike couldn't find the strength to move as the image of Emilia became more and more real. "Redirme…" Spike tossed the bottle into the air, and ran to the bed, finally getting the strength back.

"Alex! Wake up!" he exclaimed, shaking her shoulders. Emilia's cat-like eyes were glowing, and angry, and she reached down, grabbing Spike by the throat.

"She won't wake now till she completely finishes the spell!" she hissed, angrily. He began to choke, reaching up to rip her hand from his throat, but she was just a ghost. He couldn't touch her, but she could touch him. Alex was shaking a little.

"Alex!" Spike choked out. "Alex, open your eyes!" She howled, and her eyes went wide. They weren't there usual green color, either. Now, as in the cemetery, there was no pupil, no iris, or anything else inside her eyes. They were now similar to Willow's eyes when she becomes evil, only they were red, and Willow's were black. She cried out, seeing Spike, and her mother.

"No!" she cried, and tilted her head back. "Bēon gān, yfel spīritus! Bēon gān, daimōn! Bæc to hwǽr ēow cuman!" Her mother screamed, and released Spike. He fell back to the bed, laying over Alex, coughing. They watched Emilia begin to tremble, and finally, her ghost popped. There was nothing left but a faint, smoky fog that was pulled out the window by the breeze. Alex's eyes closed, and her head fell back to the pillow. She was unconscious again. Spike, still coughing, rolled over, and kneeled beside Alex's head.

"Alex…wake up…c'mon…Wake up…" he muttered, running his thumb over her cheek. She just laid there, barely breathing. Spike looked up at the door, wondering how Willow, Dawn, and Buffy didn't hear any of that. He heard the loud rumble of thunder outside the window, and nodded. The two of them were drowned out by the storm.

Alex laid still on the bed for awhile, as Spike sat on the end of the bed, head in his hands. The water bottle was still laying on the floor, since he'd avoided picking it up. As he tilted his head back, to see the clock, he caught sight of her chest heave, and she began to gasp, eyes wide again. He jumped up and walked around beside her. She took in a bunch of deep breaths, and looked up at him.

"Spike?" she whispered. He nodded, faintly smiling.

"Yeah…You're okay, Alex, don't worry. You're here, in your room in Buffy's house, with me. No demons, no spirits, just your normal, everyday vampire." She sighed, and chuckled, pushing her hand against her forehead. "You can move." She nodded.

"Yeah…It must've been the rain earlier, knocking out much of the use of my body." He sat beside her, pushing the hair from her face.

"You feel a bit better?"

"Yeah…yeah, I do…are you going to stay?" she asked softly, lifting her eyes to his.

"Yep. I'm not going to risk leaving you in here alone…not again…" He bowed his head, and kissed her, making her smile. She moved her hand over his, and squeezed it. She pulled away, and took a breath. "You ready to go to sleep now?" he asked. She nodded, and rolled onto her side. He clicked off her light, and, after shutting the window, laid down beside her. "Well…I'm right here, so nothing will happen," he stated, and kissed the back of her head as she fell asleep.

Alex stood at the kitchen sink, filling up a glass with water, still in her shorts and T-shirt, her hair stringy and damp. She smiled at the fact that the scars on her arms had disappeared during the night, and she felt that they had been a mark left by her mother so she could come back. Seeing them gone made her feel so safe now. Spike slid his arms around her waist, pressing her against him as she downed her water.

"You sleep thru the night?" he asked. She set the now empty glass in the sink, and turned around.

"Well, the rest of the night, anyway…" He smiled, and kissed her forehead, stepping back to pull a cigarette out of his pocket. He patted his other pockets, and muttered curses under his breath. "No light?" He shook his head. Alex headed into the living room, and dug in the pocket of her jacket for her lighter. Stepping back up to him, she lit the cigarette he had hanging on his lips.

"Uh, thanks…Thought you hated it when I smoked…" She shrugged.

"When you've hit the edge of life, and been brought back because it isn't your time, you begin to see how precious some things really are…Even things as stupid as smoking. But you're a vampire, I really don't think it's going to do much to you but color your teeth…" He chuckled, and, after removing the cigarette from his lips and blowing out the smoke, he kissed her again, and started out of the kitchen.

"If you need me, I'll be downstairs…"

"What am I gonna need you for?" she asked. He leaned back into the kitchen, winked at her, and headed downstairs. She began to giggle, and turned back to the sink.

She threw some bacon into a pan, and brought the eggs out of the fridge, clicking on the burner beneath another pan. She let the meat sizzle for a moment before cracking an egg into the second pan. Alex turned her head slightly, hearing a door close, and smirked, cooking up the bacon and the eggs.

"Alex?" Willow asked.

"Mornin', sleepy head," she replied, laughing a bit.

"You're awake!"

"No, really?" she asked sarcastically, turning to give Willow a funny look.

"God, how do you feel?"

"I feel fine…I woke up last night, actually, but Spike made me stay in bed…" she lied, sliding the bacon onto a plate. She stirred up the eggs, and, a moment later, she slid them onto a plate, too. "You hungry?" she asked.

"Yeah…yeah, I am…" Alex spooned some eggs onto a plate, surround by some bacon and toast, and handed it back to Willow.

"There you go…and…Here's a glass of milk," she said, holding it out. Willow smiled.

"Good to see you're okay, Alex." She smiled, and Willow left the room as Buffy and Dawn walked in. She served them food and milk, too, silencing their astounded exclamations, and ushered them into the living room, with the statement, "Eat before it gets cold." She slipped the two pans into the sink, running cool water on them, and then filling them with hot, soapy water to let them soak on the counter. Flipping the water off, Alex dried her hands and headed into the living room to sit with her friends. Willow lowered her fork to her now empty plate, and looked up.

"Alex…Your hair is wet…"

"Yeah…"

"It rained last night, but you said Spike kept you in your room last night…Did you take a shower this morning?" Willow asked. Alex gave her a slightly funny look, but nodded.

"Yeah…"

"It's good to see you awake, Alex," Dawn said.

"Yeah…you look so much better this morning than you have the past week…" Alex smiled.

"Thanks, guys…" She cast a backwards glance at the basement door, and sighed.


	9. Chapter IX

Chapter 9 

Alex leaned out the front door, and waved to Buffy and Dawn and Willow as they pulled out of the driveway. Buffy paused, and rolled down the passenger window.

"Alex? You sure you don't want to come to the movies with us?" she called.

"Yes! Now, go on, have fun!" she called, smiling. They waved, and took off. Alex sighed, still smiling, and closed the front door. After making sure they hadn't turned around and come back, Alex pulled open the basement door, and moved down one step, pulling the door shut behind her. Carefully descending the steps, she turned her head and saw Spike, just laying on his cot, staring blankly up at the ceiling, without a shirt on, the blanket pulled up to the middle of his stomach. She smiled, and dropped down, sitting a couple steps from the bottom. "Are you still awake over there?" she asked, her smile gone. He jumped, and turned to see her.

"Didn't know you were there," he replied, moving to sit up. She shrugged, leaning back against the wall.

"Well…I am…Buffy, Dawn, and Willow went to see a couple movies…"

"Why didn't you go with them?" he asked, pulling his left leg beneath him, and raising his right leg up so his knee was up, and resting his right arm on his knee. She shrugged again, dropping her head against the cool concrete.

"Because I didn't feel like watching movies today…"

"I wanted you to spend _at least_ one day with your friends, Alex, not just one day…"

"Spike, from the way that you guys have described the past two days, I technically _have_ spent more than one day with them. I was unconscious, but I was still with them…" He groaned.

"I meant while you were awake, Alex…Not half dead in your room because you thought you needed to be redeemed…" She raised her head.

"I did need to be redeemed. Otherwise, the whole time I was here, I would've tried to sleep all the time, had nightmares instead, barely eat, and never see anyone. My mother was taking control of all my thoughts, and turning my dreams into nightmares. I wanted it all to just go away, so that I could be here with my friends. Be here with the people that I came to see…be here with you. I didn't want her here. I loved my mother, but she's done nothing but haunt me, and torture me. I wanted her to leave me alone…I had to do it, Spike…" He didn't respond: just stared off at a dark corner. Alex sighed, and pushed herself off the steps, crossing over and sitting beside him.

"I know you did, Alex…But there had to have been another way. Willow has hundreds of spells, I'm sure one of them could have gotten her to leave you alone without hurting you in anyway…" She shrugged.

"Maybe there was…"

They sat there for a minute, in silence, and she leaned back against the wall, arms crossed over her chest.

"You really freaked me out last night, you know," he said suddenly. She looked over.

"What do you mean?"

"I left to get you a bottle of water, after I put those clothes on you and laid you down, and when I came back, you were asleep, but chanting that spell again. Your mother was hovering over you, and when I tried to wake you, she tried to kill me…And then you woke up…And you looked like evil Willow, only your eyes were blood red: hers go black. You screamed out the same spell Willow yelled at your mother in the tomb to get her to leave, and your mother just went…poof…" Alex lowered her head, thinking.

"Did I?"

"Yeah…Freaked me out that you did that, because I didn't know you even heard the spell…We pretty much, at first, thought you were dead…But you were breathing, so we brought you back here." Alex nodded her head, and sighed.

"Oh…By the way…Sorry for knocking you about on my way to the tomb that day…" He shrugged, waving his hand.

"Not your fault…You were trying to get rid of your mum…" She nodded. They sat in silence again, and didn't say anything else for a good while. She glanced at his hands, seeing that, though the chains were there, he wasn't wearing them.

Finally, he reached over, grabbing hold of her by the hips, and pulled her towards him, kissing her. She squealed, giggling, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He laid her down, pulling the blanket over her, and kissed her again, making her smile even more.

Alex rested her head on his chest, eyes closed, sighing. Spike's eyes were half closed, but he was running his hand over her hair, over and over again. Alex had her right leg over his right leg, and her right arm on his chest, her hand flat against him, right in front of her face. Spike bowed his head, kissing the top of hers, neither one of them hearing the front door open and close. Alex lifted her head a bit, and looked at Spike.

"How do _you_ feel now, Spike?" she asked, smirking. He chuckled.

"I'm feeling pretty good…What about you?"

"Same…" She moved up a bit, kissing him. He rubbed her shoulder a little, and she put her head down on the pillow as he sat up a bit, pulling a cigarette out of the pocket of his jeans, which were hanging on the corner of a cabinet a few feet from the head of the cot. Alex pulled her lighter from her jeans, which were on the floor beside her, and lit it for him.

"Thanks…"

"Any time…" She sighed contently, and rolled her head away from the stairs, her arm falling over her chest, keeping the blanket up by her neck. The door at the top of the steps opened, and Buffy's voice carried down.

"Spike? Alex? Either one of you two down here?" Spike looked up, but by now, Alex was half asleep.

"Both of us are…Why?" Buffy came down a few steps, and paused.

"Is it safe for me to come down?"

"I don't care, and she's almost asleep…" Buffy moved down a few more steps, and bit her lip when she saw Alex laying down and Spike partially sitting up, smoking. "What'd you need?"

"Uh, a couple things. One was to find out if you were here, and the other was to find out what she wanted for dinner…but I can ask her later…"

"Hang on…" He gently shook her shoulder, and she mumbled some choice words under her breath, squeezing her eyes together.

"What?" Spike nodded to Buffy.

"Anything you want for dinner?" Buffy asked. Alex shrugged.

"Food…" she muttered, pushing her hand over her eyes.

"Alright…" Buffy nodded to Spike, and headed back up the steps. She paused, and turned her head. "What about you, Spike?"

"Food," he answered, and Buffy laughed, leaving them alone in the basement. Spike reached over, and put his cigarette out against the wall, setting it on the cabinet and laying down beside Alex. She wrapped her arms around him, and scooted a little closer.

"Spike?" she asked softly.

"Hm?"

"Why do you care so much about how I feel?" she asked. He looked down at her.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Just curious…" Her eyes were still closed, and her voice was soft and fragile. He wasn't sure if she was awake or talking in her sleep.

"Well…Because I do…There's just an air about you that makes you so confident that it's unreal, and I worry about you…Because I just always seem to have worried about you," he said, yawning, and closed his eyes. Alex nodded, and faintly smiled as they both fell asleep.

Alex tossed her duffel bag onto the bed, and threw her clothes into it, and her pictures, and her candle. As she zipped it up, a knock came at her door.

"Who is it?"

"Me," Spike replied.

"C'mon in…" He opened the door, and as he closed it, he stopped. All her things were gone, all stuffed into her duffel except her jacket, which hung on the hook in the foyer. She looked up, pushing her hair behind her ear. "What's up?"

"Came to see if you were hungry, are you going somewhere?" She sighed, and nodded.

"I'm going home, Spike. I've done what I came here to do, and I need to go home…I have to go back to work, or else I'm going to get fired, and I'll end up living on the street or something…"

"Do the others know your leaving?" She held up four envelopes.

"They will in the morning. I'm leaving three of them here, in the girls' rooms, and dropping one off at Xander's on my way…" Spike sighed.

"You got one there for me?" She shook her head.

"I was going to go downstairs to see you…" Spike leaned back against the door.

"I don't want you leaving without actually telling them goodbye…You know they'll never get over this." Alex shrugged.

"They've gotten over it before, they can do it again…" She reached out for the doorknob, but he knocked her hand away. She sighed, and sat down on the end of the bed. "Spike, I can't stay here, not anymore. I may have gotten rid of my mother's demon, but the other demons that haunt me only haunt me within a twenty mile radius of Sunnydale, because the stories of Sunnydale are haunting everyone that's lived thru them, whether those people chose to admit it or not…" Spike shrugged.

"What were you going to do, call a cab? Get a lift a hundred miles home?"

"No…Going to the bus station…I can be home either tomorrow afternoon or the next morning…" Spike stepped in front of her, and lifted her chin.

"You aren't getting on any bus…"

"Spike, you can't stop me from going home…"

"I'm not…I'm taking you." She looked up, and faintly smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah…C'mon, let's go." Alex handed him her duffel, but slid down the hall, taping Willow's, Buffy's, and Dawn's envelopes to the inside of their doors. She followed Spike out the front door, pulling her jacket over her shoulders, but stopped. He looked back at her. "What?"

"I didn't think you'd be taking me home…Hang on…" She slid into the kitchen, taking a napkin from the holder beside the sink, and removing a pen from her pocket.

_Guys Spike is with me for the time being. If you haven't already, check the inside of your bedroom doors. There's an envelope hanging there from me…Love you guys. Alex._

She shoved the pen in her pocket, and closed the front door behind her. Spike looked up as he strapped her duffel to the back of his bike, and tossed her a helmet.

"Put this on…"

"When we leave Xander's…" He nodded, and she climbed on behind him. He drove out of the driveway, and took her to Xander's house. He sat out front while she jogged up to the front door, shoving his envelope thru the mail slot, hearing it hit the floor with a soft scratchy sound. Smiling faintly, she jogged back down to Spike, and tugged on the helmet as she sat behind him.

"You ready?"

"As ready as I can be…" He smiled at her, and took off down the road, turning the bike around at the corner. Alex slid her arms around his waist, and looked over his shoulder as the left Sunnydale.

"You sure you want to go back home now, Alex? I can still turn around if you want…"

"Yeah, Spike, I'm positive. If I go back, I'll never go home…I'll have to sell my house by the phone, and have them ship all my stuff out here…" He chuckled, turning the bike on a curve. She moved a bit closer to him, clasping her hands around his waist. He smiled, and she rested her helmeted head on his shoulder.


	10. Chapter X

Chapter 10 

Alex listened to him shut off the bike as she pulled the helmet off her head. Spike climbed off first, and started to remove the duffel from the back of the bike. Alex hung the helmet from one of the handles, and walked up over to the sidewalk that led from the driveway to the front door. It was a one story blue house, with a shingled roof. The front door was white, a black-framed screen door on the outside. She faintly smiled.

"Home…" she murmured. Spike walked up beside her with her duffel in his hand.

"You just going to look at it, or go in?" She chuckled, and walked up to the front door, removing her key from her pocket. She pushed open the screen door, and Spike stood in front of it, holding it open while she unlocked the inner door. She walked in, and clicked on the ceiling fan. Tugging her jacket over her shoulders, she tossed it onto the couch and stepped up to her answering machine.

"Damn…"

"What?" She hit PLAY, and Spike listened as the machine said, "You have thirty-four new messages…To hear your messages, press play again." Alex just left it, and moved into the kitchen. "You aren't going to listen to them?"

"I assure you, it's solicitors and my boss. Maybe a neighbor asking why I haven't mowed my lawn, but other than that…" Spike set her bag next to the couch in the living room, and walked up behind her as she leaned against her kitchen table.

"You happy now that your home?" She shrugged.

"I thought I would be…" He wrapped his arms around her waist, and kissed her neck. Alex smiled but didn't turn around. "So are you staying, or leaving?" she asked softly. Spike shrugged, stepping away.

"I don't know…what do you want me to do?"

"Don't leave this up to me. If I ask you to stay, I'm going to feel like I'm keeping you all to myself, and if I ask you to leave, I'll feel even shittier than I already do." Spike sat down on one of the chairs at the table, and placed his hands on her waist, pulling her onto his lap. She giggled, a smile spread over her face, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him.

"If I chose, I'll feel like a jackass…" She shrugged, and rested her head on his shoulder for the few silent seconds they had before the doorbell rang.

"Damnit…" She stood up, and glanced behind her. "Stay here…" He nodded, but stood and leaned against the wall beside the door, listening. She opened the front door, and smiled.

"Hello, Ms. Hardt," a little voice said. Spike smirked.

"Hey, Danny…What's up?"

"Good to have you back in town…I collected your mail for you," he said, holding out a small stack of envelopes.

"Aw, Danny, thank you very much…Hang on a second, let me get you something for going out of your way to do this…" She stepped inside, and rifled thru her purse, which was still sitting on her table, and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. She stepped back over, and held it out to him. "Here you go, kid-o."

"Thank you, Ms. Hardt. Hope you had fun on your trip."

"Yeah…lots of fun…"

"Bye."

"Bye, Danny…" she replied, watching him run back to his bike, which was standing on the sidewalk closer to the road. She sighed, and pushed the door closed, leaning against it. Spike walked out, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. She faintly smiled as he kissed her, but didn't seem as into it as before, so he pulled away.

"You're really worried about this choice, aren't you?" he asked. She shrugged, slipping her arms around his neck.

"Yeah, I suppose I am…" He sighed, and, hands pushing into her hips, lifted her up a bit. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and rested her head on his shoulder. He carried her into the living room, and sat down on the couch, her still on his lap. Lifting her head off his shoulder, Spike pushed his lips against hers.

"Alex, listen. Why don't you call a mover, and pack all your things, and buy that house a couple houses away from Buffy? You won't have to feel bad about leaving your friends, and you can overcome all that shit back there with people. You don't have to do it alone…" She smiled, and shrugged.

"I'll think about it…" He pushed his lips against hers.

"Good…"

Alex sat on the edge of the bed, the phone against her ear, a sheet wrapped around her. Spike laid beside her, sleeping, the blanket pulled up to his chest.

"That's right…Fourteen thirteen Maple Lane…Can you get a U-Haul here this evening?" she asked.

"Yeah, we can…"

"Oh, goody…Thank you…"

"Now, do you want it to be a U-Haul that you would drive, or one that we'd send a driver with?" Alex paused.

"Send one with a driver…Because when I get where I'm going and unload all my things, I don't want to have to come back…" The man on the other end of line chuckled.

"Yeah, I've had many a call from people who said the same thing…The truck will be there by six, is that okay?" Alex looked at her clock. It read 2:59 PM.

"Yeah, that's okay. Thank you, sir."

"Your very welcome." Alex hung up the phone, and she felt Spike's hand on her back, followed by his lips.

"What're you doin', Alex?" She turned her head.

"Spike, can you pull at least your jeans on? I need you to help me pack my things…" He sat up, looking at her.

"So…You're saying…Your moving back to Sunnydale?" She smiled, nodding.

"Yep…Buffy and the others are going to be quite surprised…But in that letter I wrote each of them, I never said I was staying here permanently…Only that I was going back home…I called the realtor for that house, they said it's been for sale for quite a while, and they were willing to sell it to me for the same price I bought this house for, and that they'd also take care of this house for me…And a U-Haul will be here by six, with a driver, so we can load all my things up into the truck, and head back to Sunnydale…We can go in front of the truck, and when we unload everything, he can just return here…" Spike leaned over, kissing her.

"I knew that's what you'd choose…" Alex smiled, and smacked her hand into his thigh.

"Good…Now get dressed, and help me pack…"

She tugged her shirt over her head, and leaned into her room.

"Spike, on the shelf in my closet are folded boxes…take them down, put them together with the tape in my drawer, and start packing up whatever you find in there, okay?"

"Kay…" She jogged down into the basement, finding more boxes in a corner.

At six, all the boxes were on the front lawn, as was all her furniture. Spike kissed her cheek, brushing her hair off her shoulder.

"Quick work when it's just the two of us, hm?" She bit her lip, giggling, and smacked his shoulder. The U-Haul pulled into the driveway backwards, and the driver shoved it into park, climbing out to help them load up all her things.

The man pulled down the gate in the back, and Alex glanced back at her garage.

"So what now?" he asked.

"Now…oh, crud…"

"What?" Spike asked. Alex jogged up, setting her key underneath the welcome mat on the porch, and moved to the garage.

"I need you to pull the U-Haul in front of the house, and then park it and open up the back again…" The guy nodded, and did as he was told. Spike walked up to Alex, and she pulled open the door to the garage. Inside was her silver Infiniti. "Spike, when he opens it up, you have to move your bike into the back…Unless you want to ride it back alone…"

"I'll load it up…" She smiled, and walked over to the shelves along one wall. She pulled open her back door and trunk, and piled some things in them, until she filled the trunk, and as much of the back seat as she could without blocking her view. She slammed the trunk and the backdoors, and lifted a toolbox from the floor, setting it in the car, on the floor in front of the passenger seat. She looked up, and watched the driver pull the gate back down, as Spike hopped off the back, walking up to her.

"Spike, you mind driving? I'm still a little sleepy…"

"Whatever…" Alex looked over at the U-Haul driver.

"Just follow us, okay?" she called. He waved, nodding.

The car was parked in the garage, with everything unloaded, Spike's bike sitting next to it. It was just about 9:00 when they pulled into the driveway of the new house, being as they had to go roughly 40 MPH the whole way. After unloading all the things from the back of the U-Haul, the guy pulled out of the driveway, and stopped in front of the house.

"Hey, which way to the main road?" he called out the passenger window. Spike pulled his bike from the garage, and glanced back at Alex.

"I'll show you!" he called, and pulled out into the street. Alex nodded, and climbed into her car as they disappeared.

"Okay…Now…to go sign off on this house…" she muttered, and pulled out of the driveway, heading the opposite way of Spike.

Spike led the guy down a dark, deserted gravel road, and pulled off to the side. The driver stopped, too, and opened his door.

"You sure this is the way to the main road?" he called. Spike climbed off his bike, and walked back to the driver.

"Of course I'm sure, I've been living around here forever," he stated, and motioned for the guy to come down. He hopped onto the gravel.

"What's up?"

"If you keep on this road for five more miles, you'll come out on the main road, and it will lead you straight to the highway…" The guy squinted, trying to see thru the trees, and took a few steps away from Spike.

"Hm…Really doesn't look like it…" Spike nodded.

"Well…" He morphed his face, smirking. "It is…" He roughly grabbed the guys head, and slammed him into the side of his truck. Baring his teeth, he bent his head down, and jammed them into the man's throat.

Alex pulled back into her garage, and climbed out of the car after shutting it off. Closing the garage door, she walked out, and stopped. Spike was leaning against his bike, hands jammed into the pockets of his long black coat, staring over at the grass. She moved down the driveway, and stepped up beside him.

"Spike?" she asked. He blinked, and looked over at her.

"What?"

"Are you alright? You seem sort of…confused…" He shrugged.

"I'm fine…" She sighed, and looked over at Buffy's house, and watched the light in the living room go off.

"Must be going to bed…So did the mover get back to main road alright?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah…Pointed him in the right direction, and let him go." Alex nodded, and started up to the house, rubbing her face. Spike walked up behind her, not moving his hands from his pockets, and waited beside her as she unlocked the door. "You going to bed now?" he asked.

"Uh…" She paused, thinking about whether or not they'd put the bed in a bedroom, and nodded. "Yeah…just gotta get my sheets and a couple pillows…" Alex turned her head to see him, and then looked back down at a box at her feet. It was marked "Bedroom crap." She faintly smiled, and kneeled down, opening the box. Reaching down to the bottom, she pulled out a couple of sheets, and moved across the room to a bigger box, marked the same way. Tossing the sheets to Spike, she yanked open the box and pulled out a couple of pillows. Spike followed her into her bedroom, and she threw the pillows to the head of bed before turning to take the sheets from him. She paused, and glanced back at him, as she sat down on the end of her mattress.

"What?"

"Are you going to stay here or go back to Buffy's?" she asked, rubbing her eyes. Spike shrugged, leaning against the doorframe.

"I don't know yet. Finish making your bed, I'll let you know after I go get my cigarettes from the bike." She nodded, and stood back up.

"Alright…" She turned back, and spread the sheets over her mattress, yawning.

Spike walked outside, and pulled his pack of cigarettes from his pocket, leaning against the bike. He parted his lips, and ran his fingers over his teeth, taking a look at them in the faint glow of the streetlight. Seeing no blood, he jammed a cigarette in his mouth, and lit it, taking a puff. He sighed, looking around him. The street was dark, but some houses still had a light on. Buffy's was the main house that was completely darkened, the only one he really noticed. He stood up a bit straighter when he saw the front door open, and close, and someone move down the sidewalk towards the street. They walked down the road, and beneath a streetlight, and he sighed. It was Willow and Kennedy, who were talking very quietly as they walked. Spike puffed out the last of his cigarette, and tossed it to the drive, stepping on it as he headed back inside.

He tugged his jacket off, and hung it up, as he headed to her room. Beneath it he wore a '70s style, sleeveless black shirt. He opened her door, and walked in.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna stay here…" He looked up at her, and smiled. Alex was laying on her bed, shoes and shirt laying on the floor, with her sheet pulled up to her waist. Her back was to him, and she was fast asleep. "…with you," he finished quietly, and closed the door, crossing over and laying beside her.


	11. Chapter XI

_Chapter 11_

Alex yawned, and opened her eyes, finding herself staring at the wall. She shook her head, and ran her hand down her face, rolling over. She closed her eyes again, ready to fall back to sleep, but heard a light _thud_, and opened her eyes. Alex was sitting up in a flash when she saw her dresser sitting against the wall opposite her bed.

"What the…?" she muttered, and let her feet drop the floor. She looked down to find a rug sitting there, and she hopped up and headed into the living room. Her boxes were unpacked, her furniture had been arranged, and the front door was propped open to let in some fresh air. "What the hell is going on?" she asked, looking around. Spike poked his head out of another bedroom, and smiled.

"Sorry if we woke you," he said, walking over to her. She pulled away from his hug, and walked back into her room to see what else was in there. Alex opened her closet, and found her clothes hung up nicely, and yanked open her dresser drawers, finding her jeans folded up inside.

"Spike, what the hell happened here?" she asked, looking up, surprised. He smirked, and pulled her away from the dresser.

"Come here…" he said, and led her down the hall.

"Spike, I don't want any more surprises…All I want to know is…what happened?"

"Hang on a second," he said, and pushed open the door to the room he'd just come out of. Buffy, Xander, Kennedy, Willow, Dawn, and Anya stood in there, smiling.

"Surprise!" Alex knitted her eyebrows together, and looked up at Spike. He was just smiling, leaning against the doorframe. Alex lowered her head, eyes still wide. When she didn't say anything for a few seconds, Spike lifted her chin, to see if she was even awake. Her eyes were closed now, and she was barely breathing. Spike's smile faded, and he took hold of her as she teetered. Xander grabbed a pillow off the extra bed, and laid it down beneath her head as Spike rested her on the floor.

"What happened?" Dawn asked.

"She must've had a bit of an overload…She did just wake up…" Willow said, leaning over Xander to see.

"Guys, lets put her back on a bed, so she doesn't wake up on a floor," Buffy stated, stepping away from the bed. Spike picked her up, and laid her down on the blanketed mattress of the bed in the room.

Alex rubbed her face again, rolling away from the wall. She slowly opened her eyes, and found Xander sitting there, his hand over hers, waiting for her to wake up.

"…Xander?" she asked softly. He glanced at her, and smiled.

"How you feelin', Alex?"

"Um…I'm not sure…what happened?"

"Spike came by about…seven or so this morning, and brought me, and Buff, and Dawn, and Willow, and Kennedy, and Anya over, so we could unpack your things for you. We let the girls take care of your clothes and things, and Spike and I moved the furniture around…I had an extra bed, and you had an extra room, so I donated it to you…Your actually laying on it right now. But…When you got up, Spike brought you in here, and we surprised you, and, according to Willow, you had a mental overload, and passed out. Uh, Spike then brought you to this bed, and laid you down so you could rest." Alex sighed, and rubbed her eyes again, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Where to begin…Uh…Thanks for the bed, Xander, you really didn't have to…"

"I didn't have any use for it…Any girl that stays at my house is either staying on the couch or…"

"Don't finish that sentence, please…" He smiled.

"Yeah, you know how it ends."

"Unfortunately, I do," she said jokingly. He gave her a look, and laughed.

"Yeah, but, it's really no problem." She smiled.

"Um…Thanks for helping unpack and move my things…"

"No problem." She looked around the room.

"…Where's everyone else?"

"Hanging out in your newly decorated living room," he said, pointing behind him. Alex pushed herself into a sitting position. "Want some help?"

"Yeah, thanks…" He pulled her left arm over his shoulder, and held it with his left hand, and put his right arm around her waist, holding her up. She walked out into the living room with Xander at her side, and smiled. The couches were placed in a neat semicircle, and the entertainment system was placed along the opposite wall from the front windows. She had end tables, a coffee table, pictures on the walls, a few antique-looking candleholders suspended on the walls. Alex put a hand over her mouth, smiling brightly. "Guys…" Buffy looked up, and stood.

"How're you feeling?"

"I guess I'm feeling better…You guys really didn't have to do this," she said.

"Didn't want you to stress yourself trying to do it alone…" She hugged them all, and then looked around.

"Hey…are we missing somebody?"

"Spike's in the basement…" Alex groaned, and turned her head.

"Xander, can you take me to the basement door?" He nodded, and walked her back down the hall, letting her lean against the door.

"Want me to take you downstairs?" he asked, opening the door. She shook her head.

"Thanks, though." He nodded.

"Listen, I'm going to take the girls out for breakfast…you wanna join us?" She shook her head. He kissed her cheek, and headed back to the living room. Alex slowly headed down the steps, closing the door behind her. She tried to move as quietly as possible.

"What're you doing, Alex? You should be upstairs, sleeping." She turned her head, and leaned over the railing. Spike was shoving his cot into the corner of the basement that was behind the stairs.

"Are you planning on living in my basement now? Or is this just for when…I send you to your room and make you think about what you've done?" she asked, sounding as much like her mother as she could. Spike turned to face her, and crossed to the bottom of the steps, looking at her.

"Alex, I've dealt with a lot of your shit over the years: fighting against me, even when we both had control over ourselves; killing vamps that, at the time, were the friends I knew; and running off after graduation in ninety-nine. But if you ever mimic my mother again, I'm going to have to bite you…" Alex looked down at him from her place on the third step from the bottom, and closed her mouth. They stared at each other for a moment before she felt the tear slide down her cheek and over her lips. Faintly, she heard the front door close, and knew the others had left.

"Spike…I wasn't meaning to sound like your mother. I was making fun of my own mother…And I don't know how many _damn times_ I have to say that I'm sorry I ran off! My choice was to leave and be free from all the shit I've seen and heard and done over the years, or stay and let it haunt me, and slowly kill me from the inside out. Which would you rather? A sane Alex who had to go away to keep from losing her mind? Or one who was a complete and utter nutcase, who seemed to be in denial over the whole vampire/demon thing? Why don't you tell me, Spike, so that I know what I should have done, and so that I can go up to my own room and wish that I could take back the things I've done! What is it that you want!" she cried, her fists clenched at her sides, her eyes turning red from the tears streaming down her cheeks. Spike stared up at her, and shook his head.

"I would've rather you at least said goodbye before you ran off…You didn't have to stay and lose your mind, but you didn't exactly have to leave, either. You could have dealt with it then…"

"Spike, at that time, I didn't know what I was dealing with. I thought that I'd already begun to lose my damned mind! I thought that, if someone out there, outside of Sunnydale, had a conversation with me, they'd report me to the Mental Institution!" Spike gave her a look of pure confusion.

"You left Sunnydale, with a fear that talking to someone from out there would end up with you in an Institution?" Alex sighed, shaking her head.

"You just…you don't understand, Spike. You don't know what I was thinking, what I was worrying about, when I took off. I didn't do it to get away from my friends, from my life… I did it to get away from my past. To get away from my mother. I just…"

"So you did do it to get away from me…"

"What?"

"You said you didn't do it to get away from your friends or your life. Am I one of the reasons you left?" Alex waved her hands, as if saying, "Not what I meant, not what I meant at all."

"Spike…It killed me to leave Sunnydale, knowing I may never see you again. It's because of you I was here as long as I was…" Spike rubbed his eyes, and looked up at her. Her cheeks were red, her eyes bloodshot, and she still had a few tears falling down to her lips here and there. Spike sighed, and reached over, putting his hands against her hips, and bringing her down another step. She didn't make any other moves until he rested his head against her stomach, and slid his hands around her waist. Alex faintly smiled, and laid one arm over his shoulder, her hand on his back, and the other hand on the back of his head.

"I put the cot up for when you choose to send me to my corner for being a bad boy," he said, answering her original question. She laughed, and moved down the rest of the steps, pushing her lips against his. He smiled, and spun her around, leading her back upstairs, to her room.

Alex lay with her back to Spike, sleeping. The sheet was pulled up, covering her body up until her shoulders. Spike, though, was laying beside her, holding up his head with his left hand, his right hand repeatedly running down her side. He moved his hand over her arm, and gently brushed his fingers against her neck. She had her arm beneath her head, tilting it to the side a little and widening the view of her neck. Spike felt his face change, and his teeth grow.

"No…no, no, no…" he mumbled. Alex sighed in her sleep, but didn't move. He lowered his head, scraping his teeth over her neck, his eyes now closed. He pulled back, to jam his teeth into her skin, to bite her, and she rolled over towards him, tilting her head the other way, and closing nearly all of the view of her neck. His face changed back, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Spike lowered his head to the pillow, and whispered, "Thank you, Alex." She shrugged, and buried her head in his chest, slipping her arm around his waist.

Alex was curled on the couch, flipping thru the channels, and looked up as Spike walked in, tugging his shirt over his head.

"How'd you sleep?" she asked.

"Eh…You?"

"I didn't wake up screaming, or seeing images of the undead…uh…well…Seeing images of bloody corpses, anyways." Spike chuckled, and sat down against the arm of the couch. Alex smiled, and laid down, resting her head on his leg. He looked down at her, and squeezed her shoulder.

"Alex, that might not be the best idea right now…" She rolled onto her back, and looked up at him.

"Why?"

"It just…wouldn't be…" Alex looked at him, confused.

"Tell me why, and I'll move." He reached down, grabbing her shoulders, and sat her up.

"How bout I just move you myself…" he grumbled, looking up at her.

"Spike…?"

"I don't want to risk getting the urge to bite you…" She scoffed.

"Spike, you've never tried to bite me after our first encounter, why now?"

"I don't know, alright? But I almost did this morning, until you rolled over and covered your neck…" Alex moved herself up onto the arm of the couch that he wasn't by.

"Your serious…"

"Of course I'm serious, why would I joke about biting you?" he asked, giving her an odd look.

"Why would you…want to bite me?" she asked softly.

"I don't know, Alex…You just…" He moved his hand up, and ran his finger over her neck. "It just seems so perfect, from a vampire's view of things…" She looked away from him, pushing his hand off her neck. "Oh, come on Alex, don't act so surprised. You know that all vampires, at one point or another, after meeting you, think that you may prove to be one of the better feedings they'll have…"

"Yeah, I know that, but I didn't know you've thought it before…" He shrugged.

"I am a vampire, Alex, I do think of these things…" She sighed, and stood up.

"I'm going to go over to Buffy's…do some circle work with Willow…" She leaned over, pushing her lips against his cheek, and headed out the door.

Alex sat down across from Willow, a candle between them.

"Alright…We'll do a bit of memory work, is that okay? Just…we'll use my memories…okay?"

"That's great, Willow. Not sure I can handle my own right now." Willow nodded, and they closed their eyes, chanting.

Alex heard a faint, faint buzzing sound in her ear, but didn't turn her head, not wanting to break the circle.

"_It's Alex! She's gone!"_ The words sounded throughout the basement, and Alex twitched a little, knowing when they had been said.

"_What do you mean she's gone?" Buffy's voice asked._

"_She actually did it! She actually left us!" Willow's voice sounded._ Alex knitted her eyebrows together, listening.

"_She actually did it…Alex actually took off without saying goodbye…She left Buffy…and Dawn, and Willow…and Spike……And…Me…no word of goodbye…" _This time it wasn't a female voice. It was a male voice, one they both knew, and were surprised to hear. _"I didn't even get the chance to tell anyone else how I really felt about her…How I've always felt about her…"_ It was Xander. 


	12. Chapter XII

_Chapter 12_

Alex and Willow didn't open their eyes, wanting to hear if Xander's memory had anything else to say. After a moment of silence, and nothing happened, they broke the circle by moving about. Alex stood, sitting on the bottom stair on the basement steps.

"Did anyone hear Xander say that?" Alex asked.

"I didn't…and since it was supposed to be my memories…" Willow shrugged.

"Then how did we get his memory if he's not…" Alex turned her head, and saw the basement door standing partially open. It was completely shut when they came downstairs. Alex, dropping the end of her sentence completely, stood up and hurried up the steps, and slid into the living room to find Xander just sitting down on the couch. He looked up.

"Hey, Alex…" She took the remote from him, turning off the TV, and sat on the table in front of him. "What?"

"How have you always felt about me, Xander?"

"What?"

"You heard me. How have you always felt about me?" He sighed, and scooted to the edge of the cushion, putting his hand against her cheek.

"Alex…there is no word or phrase in the English language to describe how I feel, save for maybe total and utter love for you. Always have…"

"Is it because I'm one of the rare girls that didn't think of you as a stalker?" she asked.

"Maybe…but you were a great person, Alex. You know that. Everyone liked you at one point or another. And, I pretty much mean everyone…" She smiled, blushing.

"Xander…how did you feel when I left?"

"Crushed, pretty much…like the others…"

"But you were crushed, too, because you never got the chance to tell everyone how you felt about me…I heard you say that, Xander…Downstairs. You went down to check on us, didn't you?"

"Yep."

"So that's how we got your memory." He nodded, and patted her shoulder.

"You're a smart one, alright." She smacked his knee.

"Xander, did you ever tell them?"

"I told Buffy…and…no, just Buffy. That's it. I didn't really want anyone else to know…"

"You've always felt this way?" she asked. He nodded.

"Always. Ever since that first day you met Angel in the cemetery, where you kicked the shit out of him, then he kicked the shit out of you, and then you both took off…" She smiled, and put her arms around Xander's shoulders. He hugged her around the waist, and she rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.

"Thank you, Xander…It's nice to know I have a friend as cool as you…"

"Yeah…I mean, I'm always gonna love you, but it's formed itself from a lover's love into a best friends/sibling love, you know?"

"Exactly. Thank you, Xander."

"Anytime…" They held each other for a few more minutes, and finally, she pulled away, kissing his cheek. "And I'm always here if you just want to talk…" She nodded.

"Same here." She squeezed his hands, and stood up. "I'm going to go back…"

"Did you find out why we got Xander's memory?" Willow asked, entering the room. Alex looked up.

"Yeah…I did…Xander, why don't you tell Willow now? I'm going to go talk to Spike…" Willow sat on the couch, to listen to Xander.

Alex opened the front door, and peeked inside.

"Spike? You there?" she asked.

"No." She smiled, and closed the door, walking into the living room. He was stretched across the chair, in just his jeans, looking over at her.

"That's too bad…I really wanted to tell you something important."

"Well, since I'm not here, why don't you just tell it to the image you see here, and I'll get back to you on it…" She sighed, and sat down on the couch, her head in her hands.

"When we first got together, way the hell back there, you asked if I'd ever been with someone else. I told you no…but I lied…" He looked over at her, eyebrow raised. "There was one person before you…And you know him. You don't like him all that much, but you know him…Uh, it was, uh, Xander. We dated, sort of, for about three months, and were broken up for a couple months before you and I got together…" Spike dropped his feet to the floor, and turned to look at her.

"You're serious…"

"You are supposed to be acting like a machine, which means you don't interrupt me…Let me talk…" Spike closed his mouth, and listened. Alex cleared her throat, and rested her forehead against the palms of her hands.

"Sorry."

"It's fine…Anyways. He and I had been friends forever, but we hit some sort of…relationship bump, and just started dating. No one really knew, you know, but we did, which was what we thought was important. We hung out, sometimes went out to eat, or see a movie…And…I'd stay at his place, or he'd stay at mine……you know…" Spike nodded. "We had this whole secret, hidden relationship thing down pat, but after our three months, he just couldn't keep it working. He thought I was getting too distracted during my fighting…and that it was his fault…" She sighed, and shook her head. "I'm never going to be ashamed that I had a brief relationship with Xander. In fact, I'm sort of proud to be one of the very, very rare girls who liked him, and didn't think of him as a stalker. What I'm ashamed of is that no one knew except Buffy, and that I refused to tell anyone. I'm not sure I wanted people to know, actually…" She shrugged. After a minute of silence, she looked up. Spike was gone. Confused, she stood, and wandered through her house, looking into each room for him.

She jogged down the steps to the basement, and found him laying on his cot, staring blankly up at the ceiling.

"You mad?"

"Only that you lied." He didn't blink or move when he answered. She sighed, and rubbed her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Spike…I just didn't think it'd interest you…" She crossed the room, and looked down at him. He didn't look back at her. Alex closed her eyes for a second, and while they were closed, Spike took a good long look at her form, standing over him in the barely lit basement. He looked away right before she opened her eyes, and she smirked.

"What?" he asked. She lifted her hand, tugging his sheet down to his feet, and climbed onto the cot, sitting on his thighs. "What?" he asked again. She slid her hands over his chest, and bowed her head, pushing her lips against his. Spike moved his hands over her back and pulled her down a bit. After a moment, he pulled away.

"What?"

"If you had the chance to go back…"

"Aw, damn, I hate these kinds of questions…"

"Let me finish. If you had the chance to go back, and be with Xander again, this time, would you accept the break up with him, and end up with me? Or would you change, and stay with him?" Spike asked.

"Spike…I love Xander, always will…but now its more like a sibling love, as he so very well put it when I talked to him in Buffy's living room. So…No. I wouldn't reconsider. I like the way things have turned out just fine." He smirked, and pulled her back down, kissing her. She felt his hands slide up to her shoulders, and onto her cheeks, and he rolled over, laying her back on the cot. After a few more minutes, she pulled away.

"Alex?"

"Spike…Can you promise me something?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I suppose it depends on what I'm supposed to promise…"

"If I asked you to, would you…release me from all of this?"

"What?"

"You heard me…" He sat back.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean…" She pulled herself back, and sat up.

"Yes you do. Would you let me die? Would you let me go? Release me?" she asked. He looked down at the cot.

"I…don't know, Alex…" She lifted his chin.

"For me. If I asked you to."

"I don't know…"

"Well…"

"Why would you ask me to?" he asked, taking her hand.

"I can't tell you that now, Spike…"

"Yeah, you can…"

"No, I really can't tell you that…Not now…" He shrugged.

"I still don't know, though…" She sighed, and stood up.

"Think about it…I'm going to go take a shower…"

She stood in the bathroom, her back to the mirror, staring at the floor. The door was a little open, just enough for someone to see the mirror thru. Spike walked past the door, and stopped, turning back. He looked inside, watching her pulled her shirt over her head. Her back was covered in scars and scratches, things he hadn't seen before. He watched her move about for a moment in the mirror, and knitted his eyebrows together as the scars and scratches formed a reverse image of a message on her back. He walked into the living room, and jotted down the letters on paper, the way he'd seen them, and started to walk into her room. As he lifted the message, he heard the bathroom door open, and shoved the paper into her drawer. She looked in, and smiled.

"Spike?" He looked over, and nodded.

"Yeah?"

"Come here…" He walked over, and looked down at her. She stood before him in a towel, her hair hanging around her shoulders.

"What's up?" She pushed herself up, kissing him.

"I want you to make love to me, Spike…" He stared at her, and shrugged, pulling her into the room and shoving the door closed. She stopped him. "Not up here…Downstairs…on your bed…" He shrugged, and took her downstairs, closing the basement door. She reached down as they stood beside his cot, and unbuttoned his jeans.

"You've never asked me before, Alex…you alright?" She just pushed herself up, and kissed him, dropping down onto the cot with him.

She was curled up beneath the blanket, head on his chest. He stared up at the ceiling, thinking of the message he'd written on the paper. Still wondering what it said, he carefully stood up, tugging his jeans on, and jogged up the steps. Spike rummage thru the drawer, and pulled out the paper, looking at his reflection in the mirror as he held it up. He widened his eyes, utterly confused, as he read the message in the mirror.

_Spike is your way out._


	13. Chapter XIII

_Chapter 13_

Alex leaned down the steps to the basement.

"Spike, you down here?" No answer. Knitting her eyebrows together, she jogged down the steps. "Spike?" She hit the floor, and looked around. He wasn't anywhere in sight. Shrugging, Alex jogged back up the steps, clicking off the lights, and pulled the door shut. She moved into the kitchen, and jotted down on a note, taping it to the inside of the front door.

_Spike_

_Went out with Buffy, Willow, Kennedy, and Xander to Bronze. Anya is watching Dawn over at Buffy's house. See you later. _

_Alex._

Alex left the porch light on, and pulled the door closed behind her, jogging down the steps. She reached down, swiping her hand against her thigh. She crossed the street in a pair of somewhat tight, rusty-looking blue jeans, and a spaghetti strap white shirt, with a blue flower drawn on the back. She left her hair around her shoulders, and ran her fingers thru it as she climbed the steps to Buffy's door. She opened it, and looked around.

"Guys? You ready?" she asked, closing the door behind her. Dawn looked up from the couch, and the movie box in her hands.

"Hey, Alex. Uh, Buffy's changing, Xander's on his way, and Kennedy and Willow, I think, are trying to find Willow's shoes…"

"Got them!" Willow exclaimed, laughing. Her and Kennedy wandered into the living room, and Willow sat on the couch beside Dawn, pulling her shoes on. She looked up.

"Hey, Alex. You look nice," she said, smiling. Alex looked down at her green and blue tennis shoes, and smiled.

"Thanks, Willow, so do you, and you too, Kennedy…" They nodded, smiling. Buffy walked out, and there was a knock on the door, followed by Xander coming right in.

"Hey guys, c'mon. I'm ready to go partying," he said, beaming. They laughed. Anya walked into the room with a big bowl of popcorn and a couple glasses of pop.

"You five leavin' now?" she asked, sitting down.

"Yeah. Take care, Anya. Bye Dawn."

They pulled up at Bronze, and started inside.

"So, hey, where _is_ Spike?" Buffy asked, looking around. Alex shrugged.

"Somewhere. He wasn't at the house when I left, so I really didn't think much of it. Left him a note, telling him I'd be back later, in case he came back before me…" Alex replied. They nodded.

"Well, since he didn't come, you can seek out some other, most likely hotter, guys than him, and just chill out," Kennedy said, smiling. Alex shrugged.

"I could…But it just…I always feel like he's watching me…" Buffy cleared her throat, and Alex looked up. "What?"

"Well, that's probably because he is…from right over there…" Xander said, motioning behind her. Alex turned, and saw Spike, in the shadowy corner of the room, and sighed.

"Ah…Okay…" She took a step, and paused, turning back around. "Buffy? Could you take this?" she asked, holding out her purse.

"Sure…"

"And…It's not Spike's fault…" she said. They looked at each other.

"What do you mean?" Alex didn't answer, but turned back to face Spike. She paused again, turned, and gave Xander a very sweet, very tender, kiss on the lips.

"It's not his fault," she said to him, and turned, walking over to Spike.

Spike walked back into the shadows, and Alex followed him, stopping right in front of him.

"Why would you want me to release you, Alex?" She sighed, and sat down the small bench placed in the corner. He sat beside her.

"Spike…I still see them. I see my mother, I see my grandmother, I see all those demons I have killed. I see the vampires I killed that I knew…you know, pre-siring. But I see all of them. I see them when I sleep. I see them when I wake, and…I want it all to go away…I want all of it to just go away. I don't want to kill anyone else. I don't want to fight anyone, or to anger anyone…Though, I do know that this may anger them anyways," she stated, shrugging. Spike nodded. "I want the visions to go away. It's a bit easier to protect people when no one can stop me…and when no one else can see me…" She faintly smiled.

"Alex…I still don't want to do this…" he said.

"I know, Spike. I just wanted to know if you would, but you don't have to now. Whenever you do…I'm okay with that…" He reached over, pulling her off the bench. They stood in the badly lit part of the floor, where they could see everyone, but everyone would have to know exactly who they were to know it was them. The light cast horrifying shadows on their faces. Alex stood in front of Spike, and looked up at him.

"If it's what you want, more than anything, I'll do it for you…"

"Thank you, Spike…"

"But…Only because I saw the message on your back." She looked at him with wide eyes.

"What?"

"Those scars and scratches on your back. I saw them when you were undressing to get in the shower…I saw them in the mirror. Wrote it down and looked at it in another mirror, and I think I'm beginning to understand…"

"You saw that message?" she asked softly. He nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because…I was scared, I suppose. I've had those since I started fighting vamps and demons…since my mother died. I guess I didn't want to believe it, not after I met you." He smiled down at her, and ran his fingers thru her hair, pushing it off her shoulders.

"Alex?"

"Hm?" she asked, looking down at the ground. He bit his lip.

"I…am going to tell you something that I have never told you before." She nodded.

"Alright." He moved his lips close to her ear.

"I love you." She looked up at him, wide-eyed.

"What?"

"Yeah…" he said, nodding. She closed her eyes, feeling a tear on her cheek, and smiled.

"I…love you too, Spike…" she whispered, and looked up at him. He pushed his lips against her cheek. She smiled, and he pulled his lips across her skin, and moving them over her own. Alex kissed him back, sliding her arms around his shoulders, and pulling him a bit closer.

Xander sat at the bar, stirring his drink with a straw.

"So…can you see them?" he asked Buffy. Willow and Kennedy came off the floor, sat on his other side, and looked over.

"Uh…yeah, yeah, I can…" Buffy answered, looking at girls.

"What are they doing?"

"Mmmm…nothing…" she stated, biting her lip. He nodded.

"Good…If they aren't making out on the floor, I'm fine with everything right now…" Buffy coughed, putting a hand to her neck.

"Sorry…" she said as Xander looked at her. "Choked on my spit…" she said softly, glancing over at Alex and Spike.

She felt his hands go around her waist, pulling her right up against him, and she moaned just a little, pulling her lips from his. Alex stood there for a second, and finally opened her eyes, looking at him. Spike faintly smiled down at her.

"When do you want me to…release you?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Anytime you feel you should, Spike…Anytime you feel you can…" He nodded, and sighed.

"They gonna try to kill me for it?" She shook her head, running her hand over his cheek.

"No…I told them it isn't your fault…Just tell them what I told you. Tell them why I wanted this done. It isn't your fault…It's my own for doing what it is I was born to do…" He nodded, and kissed her again. She smiled.

Xander ordered another drink, and turned around on his stool, watching Alex and Spike kissing.

"Damn," he mumbled. Buffy patted his shoulder.

"It's okay, Xander…You know how she feels about you, she knows how you feel about her, she's allowed to do this." He shrugged, and nodded.

"S'pose your right." He picked his new drink up, and started sucking it thru the straw.

Alex pulled away from Spike again, and looked into his eyes.

"I'm always gonna love you, Spike." He nodded, kissing her forehead.

"I'm gonna love you, too…" he whispered. She looked at him for a moment, and hugged him.

"Thank you, so much…" she said softly. He hugged her back. Alex kept her left hand on his shoulder as she turned to see Xander, Buffy, Willow, and Kennedy, all at the bar, all watching them. She smiled a sad smile to them, and raised her right hand, waving. Slightly confused, they waved back. Alex felt the tears falling down her cheeks, and the four stood up. Spike removed a knife from his pocket.

"I'm doing this because you asked me to…Because I love you...And because I don't want you suffering anymore…" He kissed her again, really quickly. She moved her left hand, and ran her fingers over his lips. Alex nodded, and gasped, eyes wide, as Spike stabbed her with the knife. It sunk thru her flesh, and into her stomach, much like a knife going thru warm butter. Her breathing started to become shallow, and she felt the blood streaming down her front, and soaking her shirt and jeans. She looked up at Spike with sad, tired eyes, and nodded.

"Thank you," she mouthed, and he tugged the blade from her stomach as she began to fall. He caught her, laying her on the ground and putting the knife in his pocket. Her eyes rolled about in her head, but she was still breathing as Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Kennedy slid beside her, shoving Spike away. Alex's pale hand moved around, and she looked up at the faces she saw. "Spike…" she whispered. He took her hand, moving back beside her.

"I'm here…"

"Well, you shouldn't be," Buffy snapped, looking up at him with pure hate and anger in her eyes.

"Not Spike's fault…" she whispered. Buffy looked down.

"What?"

"Not his fault…let him tell you…truth…" she said hoarsely. Her eyes closed, and her head fell against the cement with a thud. She was gone. They watched a faint, faint glow surround Alex, and her spirit sat up, looking around. Her mouth opened, and she looked like she was trying to say "Thank you" again, only there was no sound. Alex lowered her eyes, and closed them, tilting her head back completely. They watched her levitate upwards, and thru the ceiling. She was gone. Spike bowed his head, kissing the back of her still warm hand, and crossed it over her stomach.

"Goodbye, Alex."

_The End_


End file.
